I love when people talk about how wonderfully lazy their days off are. Honestly, I'm not sure I know what a lazy day is anymore. My days off are filled with more activity being crammed in than the average person completes in an entire week. I don't sit still well at all and, with the beautiful weather in Colorado, I like to enjoy the outdoors which means that even if I'm getting things done around the house, the doors and windows being open are a MUST!
Saturday, the entire day was spent outdoors until it got dark. I was transplanting seedlings to my garden. It's a risk, being that it's April in Colorado, but I'm trusting my gut and giving it the old college try. Some of my seeds took off. My zucchini plants went nuts. Three different kinds of tomatoes look like they're gonna grow like crazy too. Bell peppers were a little slower but they're still making it happen. Jalapenos (my personal favorite) are doing awesome too! After I tilled the soil, got it all prepped and got everything planted, I planted some new seeds to get them going. Hopefully this weekend will be a nice repeat where I can plant some more seeds. I'm hoping to get the herb garden up and running soon.
Sunday, it was spring cleaning day. I spent all day catching up on laundry but also scrubbed the insides of the kitchen cabinets, drawers and appliances. I scrubbed down the bathrooms and wiped down everything from baseboards to ceilings. In addition, I managed to make homemade apple pie filling to make apple pie roll ups as well as homemade strawberry rhubarb pie. I made my pasta salad for lunch this week....it was a very productive day.
In short, I look at what I accomplished and wonder how the hell people have the ability to relax if they work all week. I have way too much on my plate for that crap! I can't wait until it's darker even later because this girl is ready for some s'mores and Coors!
Monday, April 7, 2014
My Girls
These are my girls. Incredible how different they are. One looks more like me and the other acts more like me.
Alyssa is nearly my clone . Moody as they come (being a teen), she acts NOTHING like me though. We jokingly call her a hippie. She's not at all concerned with fashion and extremely girly things but she's also not concerned with sports and tomboy things. In short, she's a bookworm. She lives very much up to her Aquarius nature...dramatic, very deeply feeling water sign. She's not a social butterfly at ALL.
Sydney doesn't look as much like me but, MAN!, does she act like me. I mean EXACTLY like me. She's got her own style (clearly) and is a little rock star. She's a peacemaker but very clear about what she wants. She's got the kind of personality that just draws people in...you don't even entirely know why you're drawn in until you're already there. She wears all kinds of hats from tomboy to girly girl but all of them seem to stem back to her unique little personality.
Stanley Cup Playoffs are Shaping Up
This girl is in Heaven because the Stanley Cup playoffs are taking shape....and both of the teams I support (one because it's MY team and one because of where I live) are looking to be in it. The Avs (supported because I live here and my fiancé loves them...and because most years they aren't a threat to my team) have already secured their spot and are actually above the Blackhawks in the rankings now. That, to me, makes it all the sweeter because I loathe the Hawks (ironic since I'm originally from that area). My Redwings are on par to be a Wild Card team and, as I always say, they can have whatever kind of season they want but my Wings always rally at the end. My team is a team that will shock the pants off of you, even when they haven't had an amazing season like some of these other teams.
Everyone is ruling out the Wings, saying that they'll be out in the first round but I disagree. If you are looking for examples on "holy shit where did they come from" scenarios, look no further than the NCAA playoffs. Who the hell saw Florida getting knocked out? Even the most intense and loyal college basketball fans will tell you that they did not see U Conn playing for the championship. Brackets everywhere just crumbled. But I digress....
If the Stanley Cup playoffs started here and now, the matchups would be incredible. If I was not a broke mama, I'd be heading to some playoff games because there is NOTHING better in this world than live hockey (though live football is a close second). I definitely don't believe that the Hawks are getting another Stanley Cup nor do I believe the damn LA Kings will get it. Honestly, I've already filled out my bracket and I believe I have it nailed. Then again, you'll have to wait and see if I'm right. Either way, I am ready for some Stanley Cup action!
Everyone is ruling out the Wings, saying that they'll be out in the first round but I disagree. If you are looking for examples on "holy shit where did they come from" scenarios, look no further than the NCAA playoffs. Who the hell saw Florida getting knocked out? Even the most intense and loyal college basketball fans will tell you that they did not see U Conn playing for the championship. Brackets everywhere just crumbled. But I digress....
If the Stanley Cup playoffs started here and now, the matchups would be incredible. If I was not a broke mama, I'd be heading to some playoff games because there is NOTHING better in this world than live hockey (though live football is a close second). I definitely don't believe that the Hawks are getting another Stanley Cup nor do I believe the damn LA Kings will get it. Honestly, I've already filled out my bracket and I believe I have it nailed. Then again, you'll have to wait and see if I'm right. Either way, I am ready for some Stanley Cup action!
Wednesday, April 2, 2014
15 Things that Guys Can Do for their Wife/Fiance/Girlfriend (You didn't think you were getting off that easy, did you?)
1. Give us a day OUT, not a day at home to ourselves I know you have the best of intentions, guys, but a day at home just equals housework for us. You give me a day to myself and I'm gonna be scrubbing the corners of the bathroom I can't scrub with the kids around. It's not relaxing...it's work. Give us a day OUT somewhere whether that means gift cards or contacting her bestie and making her drag her out for the day.
2. Surprise us...and I'm not talking about dick in a box, fellas. Once in awhile, stop and grab some flowers or her favorite candy bar. Even those of us that aren't into a dozen long stemmed red roses like to feel like a lady once in awhile. Life happens and we all get busy but taking a second to woo your lady is going to reward you too.
3. Tell us that you like our hair...even if you can't see the difference If you know that your lady has dyed her hair or gotten a cut, tell her how great she looks even if you can't see the difference...because SHE can see the difference. Make a big deal. It's five minutes out of your day, tops! You spend more time squatting and surfing.
4. Stop calling watching your kids "babysitting" This is a pet peeve of mine and a lot of other women. If you helped create the kids or took responsibility for them as a stepparent, etc, you are NOT babysitting to watch the kids. You are staying home with your kids so your lady can have a night out.
5. Stop ogling women in front of us...celebrity or not It's one thing to mention that someone is pretty but it's an entirely different thing to ogle someone. You're causing your girl to very likely start picking apart her own image because of what you're ogling on that other girl...then you're gonna get mad that she gets all self-conscious. Save yourself the headache and gawk another time.
6. Tell us we're beautiful Sounds simple enough, right? Tell us early an often how pretty we are. Even if we blow it off on the outside, we're internalizing and storing it up for the next time you act a fool and we have to forgive you. (hahahahaha)
7. Sex Yep, I said it. Foreplay and sex are the quickest way to let her know you're still attracted to her and one of the best ways to make her feel sexy.
8. Encouragement instead of criticism Instead of picking apart everything she does, encourage her. If she doesn't make the best meatloaf or she folds shirts wrong, don't pick her apart for it. Give her positive reinforcement. Do it WITH her and she'll observe you instead of griping and picking it apart.
9. Watch a chick flick Yes that's right boys. Suck it up once in awhile and watch the chick flick without going to sleep. She sits through your boring action/sci fi movies. Sit through her chick flicks once in awhile and don't bitch about it.
10. Compliment instead of cracking jokes Yes, it's fine and fun to make light of each other's flaws but it can tear a person down very quickly to pick them apart all the time without complimenting them. If they're fishing for compliments, it means you're not giving them often enough and they're feeling bad about themselves. Even if it seems like overkill, compliment her. You're doing yourself a favor in the process.
11. Say I'm Sorry It doesn't sound like it's that important but it is. It lets her know that you feel remorse for what you did, even if it didn't seem important to you. Women internalize EVERYTHING so a simple "I'm sorry" goes a long way. Don't sweep it under the rug because that's how women turn it into a "throw it back in your face" six months down the line.
12. Smack her on the ass. Yes, I actually encouraged you to do that. Let her know you're proud of her because, chances are (especially if you have kids), she's feeling worn down and exhausted and not very sexy. She may roll her eyes at you but she's happy to have you acknowledge her femininity.
13. ACT like you like her shoes and maybe even buy her a pair when you're out together Yep, she has a million pair of shoes. No it doesn't make sense to you but it makes her happy. Deal. Act like you give a crap about her new shoes and encourage her to buy a pair when you're out. It's like letting her know you appreciate her hard work at home.
14. Don't gripe at her for venting to her friends Let's be honest...you don't want to listen to her yap about how she's feeling. You're not a feelings guy. Let her talk to someone else then. If it's her mom, so be it. If it's her friends, so be it. Don't gripe at her. Let her vent.
15. Take her out Make it a priority. Just like you make car maintenance a priority, your relationship needs it too if you want it to last. Take her out and do SOMETHING.
2. Surprise us...and I'm not talking about dick in a box, fellas. Once in awhile, stop and grab some flowers or her favorite candy bar. Even those of us that aren't into a dozen long stemmed red roses like to feel like a lady once in awhile. Life happens and we all get busy but taking a second to woo your lady is going to reward you too.
3. Tell us that you like our hair...even if you can't see the difference If you know that your lady has dyed her hair or gotten a cut, tell her how great she looks even if you can't see the difference...because SHE can see the difference. Make a big deal. It's five minutes out of your day, tops! You spend more time squatting and surfing.
4. Stop calling watching your kids "babysitting" This is a pet peeve of mine and a lot of other women. If you helped create the kids or took responsibility for them as a stepparent, etc, you are NOT babysitting to watch the kids. You are staying home with your kids so your lady can have a night out.
5. Stop ogling women in front of us...celebrity or not It's one thing to mention that someone is pretty but it's an entirely different thing to ogle someone. You're causing your girl to very likely start picking apart her own image because of what you're ogling on that other girl...then you're gonna get mad that she gets all self-conscious. Save yourself the headache and gawk another time.
6. Tell us we're beautiful Sounds simple enough, right? Tell us early an often how pretty we are. Even if we blow it off on the outside, we're internalizing and storing it up for the next time you act a fool and we have to forgive you. (hahahahaha)
7. Sex Yep, I said it. Foreplay and sex are the quickest way to let her know you're still attracted to her and one of the best ways to make her feel sexy.
8. Encouragement instead of criticism Instead of picking apart everything she does, encourage her. If she doesn't make the best meatloaf or she folds shirts wrong, don't pick her apart for it. Give her positive reinforcement. Do it WITH her and she'll observe you instead of griping and picking it apart.
9. Watch a chick flick Yes that's right boys. Suck it up once in awhile and watch the chick flick without going to sleep. She sits through your boring action/sci fi movies. Sit through her chick flicks once in awhile and don't bitch about it.
10. Compliment instead of cracking jokes Yes, it's fine and fun to make light of each other's flaws but it can tear a person down very quickly to pick them apart all the time without complimenting them. If they're fishing for compliments, it means you're not giving them often enough and they're feeling bad about themselves. Even if it seems like overkill, compliment her. You're doing yourself a favor in the process.
11. Say I'm Sorry It doesn't sound like it's that important but it is. It lets her know that you feel remorse for what you did, even if it didn't seem important to you. Women internalize EVERYTHING so a simple "I'm sorry" goes a long way. Don't sweep it under the rug because that's how women turn it into a "throw it back in your face" six months down the line.
12. Smack her on the ass. Yes, I actually encouraged you to do that. Let her know you're proud of her because, chances are (especially if you have kids), she's feeling worn down and exhausted and not very sexy. She may roll her eyes at you but she's happy to have you acknowledge her femininity.
13. ACT like you like her shoes and maybe even buy her a pair when you're out together Yep, she has a million pair of shoes. No it doesn't make sense to you but it makes her happy. Deal. Act like you give a crap about her new shoes and encourage her to buy a pair when you're out. It's like letting her know you appreciate her hard work at home.
14. Don't gripe at her for venting to her friends Let's be honest...you don't want to listen to her yap about how she's feeling. You're not a feelings guy. Let her talk to someone else then. If it's her mom, so be it. If it's her friends, so be it. Don't gripe at her. Let her vent.
15. Take her out Make it a priority. Just like you make car maintenance a priority, your relationship needs it too if you want it to last. Take her out and do SOMETHING.
15 Things to Do For Your Husband/Boyfriend/Fiance
1. Let him be right and win the argument....even if he's not right If he's not arguing the theory of relativity or something of dire importance, just let him be the one who's "right." It'll soothe his ego and help you exercise being the bigger person.
2. Stop using the word "ok" in that negative tone You'd think that women would outgrow this habit after they stop being teenagers but it seems that this is still a huge thing for us. We get into a debate and finally just say, "Okay"......but you say it in that tone that says "I'm still right and you're wrong." Knock it off.
3. Once in awhile, don't have a headache Yes you! You know what I'm talking about. You're fine and dandy to talk his ear off but then when he wants a little intimacy, it's "I have a headache...I'm too tired." Once in awhile, let HIM have his way. I know...crazy, right?
4. Fix him bacon....and burgers.....and other fatty goodness As women, we have a tendency to lecture on health and cholesterol but give him the chance to be a guy and eat a whole plate of hot wings if he wants. No, I'm not suggesting that he get to do it every day but there is a healthy balance. Don't make him share...let him be pampered.
5. Give him the house to himself for a day No kids....no responsibility.
6. Tell him how wonderful and how sexy he is There has to be a reason you got with him. Stop criticizing and remind yourself AND him of how wonderful he is. The grass may be greener on the other side but it still needs mowed.
7. Cheer for him on his Madden game...even if you could care less Yes, I'm suggesting you show interest in something that doesn't really interest you (though it DOES interest me). If his video games are his hobby, let him play...and encourage him. It's good for refresh time for him :)
8. Let him snore Unless it's a health thing, stop trying to change HIS natural habit and change your coping habits. I'll bet you have some sleepy time habits too...ahem, BLANKET HOG. If he's shaking the walls, it's okay to take a stand but if it's a gentle roar, suck it up buttercup!
9. Surprise him with a six pack Or if beer's not his thing, surprise him with soda...or whatever else trips his trigger. Surprise him with a gift that says, "I care about your relaxation."
10. Don't make a big deal over small stuff Yes, his socks on the floor of the living room are gross but so is your hair in the drain and I'm sure he doesn't pinch a tizzy every time he has to snake the drain. Pick your battles and stop being a queen over the small stuff.
11. Get yourself dolled up for a night out with him Be his eye candy for a night. We're all guilty of the ponytail and no makeup spells and have that right, as women (and moms for some of us). Get yourself all dolled up and go out on the town.
12. Victoria's Secret....or Fredericks of Hollywood....or Fascinations.....or Yumdrop.....nuff said.
13. Be nice to his mom Yep, it doesn't matter whether their relationship is good, bad or somewhere in between...be nice. Look for her good points instead of criticizing (even if that's what she does to you). I don't care if she's old fashioned, trying to be a hip mom, etc. Be nice!
14. Guys night out.... Yup, I'm saying it. Hopefully your guy will be intelligent enough to not act a complete fool so it's easier for you to encourage it but go for it.. give him a night out with the guys. He needs it.
15. High heels Guys don't always admit it but most of them think high heels are sexy...no matter what they're paired with.
2. Stop using the word "ok" in that negative tone You'd think that women would outgrow this habit after they stop being teenagers but it seems that this is still a huge thing for us. We get into a debate and finally just say, "Okay"......but you say it in that tone that says "I'm still right and you're wrong." Knock it off.
3. Once in awhile, don't have a headache Yes you! You know what I'm talking about. You're fine and dandy to talk his ear off but then when he wants a little intimacy, it's "I have a headache...I'm too tired." Once in awhile, let HIM have his way. I know...crazy, right?
4. Fix him bacon....and burgers.....and other fatty goodness As women, we have a tendency to lecture on health and cholesterol but give him the chance to be a guy and eat a whole plate of hot wings if he wants. No, I'm not suggesting that he get to do it every day but there is a healthy balance. Don't make him share...let him be pampered.
5. Give him the house to himself for a day No kids....no responsibility.
6. Tell him how wonderful and how sexy he is There has to be a reason you got with him. Stop criticizing and remind yourself AND him of how wonderful he is. The grass may be greener on the other side but it still needs mowed.
7. Cheer for him on his Madden game...even if you could care less Yes, I'm suggesting you show interest in something that doesn't really interest you (though it DOES interest me). If his video games are his hobby, let him play...and encourage him. It's good for refresh time for him :)
8. Let him snore Unless it's a health thing, stop trying to change HIS natural habit and change your coping habits. I'll bet you have some sleepy time habits too...ahem, BLANKET HOG. If he's shaking the walls, it's okay to take a stand but if it's a gentle roar, suck it up buttercup!
9. Surprise him with a six pack Or if beer's not his thing, surprise him with soda...or whatever else trips his trigger. Surprise him with a gift that says, "I care about your relaxation."
10. Don't make a big deal over small stuff Yes, his socks on the floor of the living room are gross but so is your hair in the drain and I'm sure he doesn't pinch a tizzy every time he has to snake the drain. Pick your battles and stop being a queen over the small stuff.
11. Get yourself dolled up for a night out with him Be his eye candy for a night. We're all guilty of the ponytail and no makeup spells and have that right, as women (and moms for some of us). Get yourself all dolled up and go out on the town.
12. Victoria's Secret....or Fredericks of Hollywood....or Fascinations.....or Yumdrop.....nuff said.
13. Be nice to his mom Yep, it doesn't matter whether their relationship is good, bad or somewhere in between...be nice. Look for her good points instead of criticizing (even if that's what she does to you). I don't care if she's old fashioned, trying to be a hip mom, etc. Be nice!
14. Guys night out.... Yup, I'm saying it. Hopefully your guy will be intelligent enough to not act a complete fool so it's easier for you to encourage it but go for it.. give him a night out with the guys. He needs it.
15. High heels Guys don't always admit it but most of them think high heels are sexy...no matter what they're paired with.
Tuesday, April 1, 2014
15 Things for Mothers to Do with Their Daughters
1. Teach them to be happy being alone. I don't mean this in a depressing boo-hoo way. I mean teaching a girl independence can go miles when she is picking friends in this age of "mean girls", not to mention when she's picking a boyfriend/girlfriend. If they learn to be happy within themselves, they will never have to worry about being in bad company.
2. Teach them how to throw a ball.... Yes, I know, I said this for the boys too but this is, in my opinion, for a different reason. Teach them how to throw a ball, change the oil in the car and do other "boy things" so that they can learn independence and not feel like they need to be a skinny princess diva like the idiot celebrity girls that haunt the news with their craziness.
3. Exhibit positive and respectful behavior. Yes, I'm sorry ladies but this is a necessary evil. There are far too many bitchy women in this world. There are far too many women that not only pride themselves on trying to control men but they also seem to thrive on it. Show them how to treat people respectfully and they will demand the same for their own lives.
4. Let them be girly... If a girl so chooses, let her be girly. Let her be a tomboy. Let her be a little nerd or let her be a little athlete. Whatever it is that she wants to do, let her do it and let her do it with her whole heart. Don't poo poo her for too much pink but don't drown her in princess just because she liked Cinderella when he was two.
5. Show her diversity at a young age...and keep showing her. Show her that people can be big and healthy or very thin and healthy. People can have two legs or one leg or no legs. People can have curly hair, straight hair, short hair, long hair or no hair at all. People come in all shapes, sizes and colors and the less that girls learn to put a label on differences, the less likely they are to feel like they need to change to fit in.
6. Play! Girls are always taught to be quiet and still but they need to play and exert their energy too. Play...get dirty. Teach them to take in textures, smells, sounds...everything around them.
7. Teach her how to fight. I know this is a morbid thought but life happens sometimes and she needs to learn how to defend herself. Teach her how to fight and protect her body at all costs. It might save her life someday.
8. ...Explain that kicking boys in the groin is NOT funny This one doesn't seem as obvious but I know a whole lot of little girls that think that kicking boys in the junk is a funny way to "scold" them physically. It is not an acceptable form of humor...that is something you should only do if you are in danger of being violated.
9. Help them understand how important and sacred their body truly is. Sounds cheesy,right? It's not just a religious thing. It's a matter of teaching girls how sacred their body is and how important it is to keep it to themselves instead of flaunting it like the...well let's just say like celebrities who shall remain nameless.
10. Teach them to act like ladies. Love it or hate it, it's a matter of right and wrong. There is a time and a place to act silly. There is also a time and place to cross your ankles, say yes ma'am or sir, and use your manners. This new masculizination of girls borders on ludicrous. You can be independent and still be a lady.
11. Don't just read them fairy tales....but read them SOME fairy tales. I'm not on both sides of the fence here. Fairy tales allow little girls to dream. It's not about putting them in a feminine box. It's about teaching them to dream. Don't JUST read her fairy tales and princess stories though. Read to her about Helen Keller or Mary Lou Retton or Clara Barton. Read to her about heroes and women that studied and succeeded. Read her stories about dump trucks and aliens. Let HER choose but give her variety.
12. Stop treating her like a stereotype. Girls don't ALWAYS read better or suck at math. They also don't ALWAYS potty train earlier or easier. Girls are....well they're just girls and every single one of them is different.
13. Prepare her AND you for the fact that there is gonna come a day that she might not "like" you but you'll always love her. I'm realistic with my girls. It doesn't matter how sweet the mom is or how docile the daughter, she will be a teenager and she will not like her mom much. It happens. It's the circle of Life. Ha ha ha
14. Hug her. Hug her and snuggle her because they grow up way too fast. Those fleeting moments with sweet little Cinderella dancing quickly turns to cheesy smiles in forced family pictures where they're threatened with loss of phone privileges.
15. No social media until they are truly trustworthy. This is NOT a matter of age. Too many girls are posting naked selfies or sexting. Unless and until they are worthy of ALL of your trust...no social media. Period
2. Teach them how to throw a ball.... Yes, I know, I said this for the boys too but this is, in my opinion, for a different reason. Teach them how to throw a ball, change the oil in the car and do other "boy things" so that they can learn independence and not feel like they need to be a skinny princess diva like the idiot celebrity girls that haunt the news with their craziness.
3. Exhibit positive and respectful behavior. Yes, I'm sorry ladies but this is a necessary evil. There are far too many bitchy women in this world. There are far too many women that not only pride themselves on trying to control men but they also seem to thrive on it. Show them how to treat people respectfully and they will demand the same for their own lives.
4. Let them be girly... If a girl so chooses, let her be girly. Let her be a tomboy. Let her be a little nerd or let her be a little athlete. Whatever it is that she wants to do, let her do it and let her do it with her whole heart. Don't poo poo her for too much pink but don't drown her in princess just because she liked Cinderella when he was two.
5. Show her diversity at a young age...and keep showing her. Show her that people can be big and healthy or very thin and healthy. People can have two legs or one leg or no legs. People can have curly hair, straight hair, short hair, long hair or no hair at all. People come in all shapes, sizes and colors and the less that girls learn to put a label on differences, the less likely they are to feel like they need to change to fit in.
6. Play! Girls are always taught to be quiet and still but they need to play and exert their energy too. Play...get dirty. Teach them to take in textures, smells, sounds...everything around them.
7. Teach her how to fight. I know this is a morbid thought but life happens sometimes and she needs to learn how to defend herself. Teach her how to fight and protect her body at all costs. It might save her life someday.
8. ...Explain that kicking boys in the groin is NOT funny This one doesn't seem as obvious but I know a whole lot of little girls that think that kicking boys in the junk is a funny way to "scold" them physically. It is not an acceptable form of humor...that is something you should only do if you are in danger of being violated.
9. Help them understand how important and sacred their body truly is. Sounds cheesy,right? It's not just a religious thing. It's a matter of teaching girls how sacred their body is and how important it is to keep it to themselves instead of flaunting it like the...well let's just say like celebrities who shall remain nameless.
10. Teach them to act like ladies. Love it or hate it, it's a matter of right and wrong. There is a time and a place to act silly. There is also a time and place to cross your ankles, say yes ma'am or sir, and use your manners. This new masculizination of girls borders on ludicrous. You can be independent and still be a lady.
11. Don't just read them fairy tales....but read them SOME fairy tales. I'm not on both sides of the fence here. Fairy tales allow little girls to dream. It's not about putting them in a feminine box. It's about teaching them to dream. Don't JUST read her fairy tales and princess stories though. Read to her about Helen Keller or Mary Lou Retton or Clara Barton. Read to her about heroes and women that studied and succeeded. Read her stories about dump trucks and aliens. Let HER choose but give her variety.
12. Stop treating her like a stereotype. Girls don't ALWAYS read better or suck at math. They also don't ALWAYS potty train earlier or easier. Girls are....well they're just girls and every single one of them is different.
13. Prepare her AND you for the fact that there is gonna come a day that she might not "like" you but you'll always love her. I'm realistic with my girls. It doesn't matter how sweet the mom is or how docile the daughter, she will be a teenager and she will not like her mom much. It happens. It's the circle of Life. Ha ha ha
14. Hug her. Hug her and snuggle her because they grow up way too fast. Those fleeting moments with sweet little Cinderella dancing quickly turns to cheesy smiles in forced family pictures where they're threatened with loss of phone privileges.
15. No social media until they are truly trustworthy. This is NOT a matter of age. Too many girls are posting naked selfies or sexting. Unless and until they are worthy of ALL of your trust...no social media. Period
15 Things for Mothers to Do With Their Sons
1. Let him show his emotions. Boys are an entirely different ball park for most of us moms who are used the chewy emotional goodness of girls. Let him cry when he's sad. Let him get angry. Show him how to channel those emotions in a positive way but allow him to feel them.
2. Let him wrestle. While it is perfectly normal and appropriate to set boundaries (no wrestling in the house, etc), let him wrestle and play rough. It is a normal, healthy way that some boys get their energy out and there are certain rites of passage, that girls will likely never understand, that come from allowing and encouraging them to play rough and tumble
3. Teach him to be a gentleman. Single moms, married moms, dating moms...doesn't matter. Whatever parent or guardian a little boy has should teach him to be a gentleman. Yes, it might be old-fashioned but teach him to open doors for people, stick up for a girl that's being picked on, and call people "ma'am" and "sir".
4. Let him use his imagination. Too often, little imaginations are squelched because playing with a certain toy or in a certain way is too "girly." While I do think our society is feminizing boys, I also think that there are a lot of things that some people consider "girly" that are harmless. Pick your battles and encourage them to use their imagination....make up games, create comic books, and whatever else their little brains can think up.
5. Teach him to NEVER hit a girl. This one is difficult if he has a sister because, let's be honest, siblings fight sometimes. With that being said, let him know that it is NEVER appropriate to hit a girl. Teach him to walk away, even if a girl hits him first.
6. Teach him to throw a ball. No, it's not a profound breakthrough that I'm offering up here but teach him how to throw a ball. Teach him how to shoot basket. Teach him how to catch. Teach him how to climb a tree. Let boys be boys.
7. Let him get dirty....REALLY DIRTY I don't care what the world tells you about hand sanitizer and germs. Let him get dirty. Let him roll in the mud. Let him get grass stains on his knees and scrapes and bruises from running around in the yard.
8. Resist the urge to overuse the phrase "Be Careful" There is a rather vast majority of boys that are little daredevils and they are going to act like tiny, awesome hooligans no matter what. Reserve the use of the words "be careful" for truly dangerous situations.
9. Teach them the appropriate time for "potty humor." Let's be honest: there is no escaping the wonders of how funny boys think potty humor is. Don't discourage them from laughing hysterically at the word "doody." Instead, teach them when the appropriate time is for it.
10. Don't put limitations on their intelligence. Stop listening to the books and studies telling you that girls are better at reading and boys are better at math. Don't let that become your excuse for why he doesn't like to read. Instill the love of reading early on and find what they're interested in. Encourage them to be smart in all things and not to be ashamed of it.
11. Teach them that geeks rule the world. For how much bullying goes on in this world, it IS important for people to take a stand. It is also important, though, for us to teach our sons (and daughters) how to NOT internalize everything people say. Guess what? They're calling you a geek and you might be a geek but geeks rule the world, son. Teach them to own their quirks unashamedly and bullies will have nothing to focus on because the reaction isn't there.
12. Don't be afraid to tell him to "shake it off." While I think that showing emotion is important, there is something to be said for telling your son with a tiny scraped knee to shake it off. He's gonna be fine and he's going to learn an important lesson on getting up and dusting himself off. I'm not suggesting telling him to "man up" when he's broken his arm but telling him to "shake it off" when he's fallen off his bike and skinned his knee is appropriate and fine.
13. Teach him the phrase "Who cares?" and when to use it. This doesn't sound important but the first time someone tells him "If you don't do this (insert in appropriate activity here), you're a baby," you'll realize how important this is. Boys are incredibly susceptible to being called weenie or baby and succumbing to the urge to show their asses to prove they're not. Teach them to just say, "Who cares" and walk away. If the bullies aren't getting a reaction, they won't bother.
14. Show them real heroes. While it's great to teach them about superman and let them think Spiderman is awesome, teach them about real heroes....soldiers, doctors, firemen, policemen and so on. Teach them about the real qualities that men should have.
15. Teach them that girls are not just appearance. I think this is one of the most important things you can instill in a boy. Yes, it is natural for boys to automatically be drawn to appearance and what they find pretty but teach them that girls are not JUST about appearance and that it is far more important to find someone that you can talk to, hang out with, and have fun with. Teach them to be real men.
2. Let him wrestle. While it is perfectly normal and appropriate to set boundaries (no wrestling in the house, etc), let him wrestle and play rough. It is a normal, healthy way that some boys get their energy out and there are certain rites of passage, that girls will likely never understand, that come from allowing and encouraging them to play rough and tumble
3. Teach him to be a gentleman. Single moms, married moms, dating moms...doesn't matter. Whatever parent or guardian a little boy has should teach him to be a gentleman. Yes, it might be old-fashioned but teach him to open doors for people, stick up for a girl that's being picked on, and call people "ma'am" and "sir".
4. Let him use his imagination. Too often, little imaginations are squelched because playing with a certain toy or in a certain way is too "girly." While I do think our society is feminizing boys, I also think that there are a lot of things that some people consider "girly" that are harmless. Pick your battles and encourage them to use their imagination....make up games, create comic books, and whatever else their little brains can think up.
5. Teach him to NEVER hit a girl. This one is difficult if he has a sister because, let's be honest, siblings fight sometimes. With that being said, let him know that it is NEVER appropriate to hit a girl. Teach him to walk away, even if a girl hits him first.
6. Teach him to throw a ball. No, it's not a profound breakthrough that I'm offering up here but teach him how to throw a ball. Teach him how to shoot basket. Teach him how to catch. Teach him how to climb a tree. Let boys be boys.
7. Let him get dirty....REALLY DIRTY I don't care what the world tells you about hand sanitizer and germs. Let him get dirty. Let him roll in the mud. Let him get grass stains on his knees and scrapes and bruises from running around in the yard.
8. Resist the urge to overuse the phrase "Be Careful" There is a rather vast majority of boys that are little daredevils and they are going to act like tiny, awesome hooligans no matter what. Reserve the use of the words "be careful" for truly dangerous situations.
9. Teach them the appropriate time for "potty humor." Let's be honest: there is no escaping the wonders of how funny boys think potty humor is. Don't discourage them from laughing hysterically at the word "doody." Instead, teach them when the appropriate time is for it.
10. Don't put limitations on their intelligence. Stop listening to the books and studies telling you that girls are better at reading and boys are better at math. Don't let that become your excuse for why he doesn't like to read. Instill the love of reading early on and find what they're interested in. Encourage them to be smart in all things and not to be ashamed of it.
11. Teach them that geeks rule the world. For how much bullying goes on in this world, it IS important for people to take a stand. It is also important, though, for us to teach our sons (and daughters) how to NOT internalize everything people say. Guess what? They're calling you a geek and you might be a geek but geeks rule the world, son. Teach them to own their quirks unashamedly and bullies will have nothing to focus on because the reaction isn't there.
12. Don't be afraid to tell him to "shake it off." While I think that showing emotion is important, there is something to be said for telling your son with a tiny scraped knee to shake it off. He's gonna be fine and he's going to learn an important lesson on getting up and dusting himself off. I'm not suggesting telling him to "man up" when he's broken his arm but telling him to "shake it off" when he's fallen off his bike and skinned his knee is appropriate and fine.
13. Teach him the phrase "Who cares?" and when to use it. This doesn't sound important but the first time someone tells him "If you don't do this (insert in appropriate activity here), you're a baby," you'll realize how important this is. Boys are incredibly susceptible to being called weenie or baby and succumbing to the urge to show their asses to prove they're not. Teach them to just say, "Who cares" and walk away. If the bullies aren't getting a reaction, they won't bother.
14. Show them real heroes. While it's great to teach them about superman and let them think Spiderman is awesome, teach them about real heroes....soldiers, doctors, firemen, policemen and so on. Teach them about the real qualities that men should have.
15. Teach them that girls are not just appearance. I think this is one of the most important things you can instill in a boy. Yes, it is natural for boys to automatically be drawn to appearance and what they find pretty but teach them that girls are not JUST about appearance and that it is far more important to find someone that you can talk to, hang out with, and have fun with. Teach them to be real men.
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