Have you ever paid attention to the bottom of your receipts? See those little surveys? They seem to pop up everywhere, don't they? You're asked to take surveys on the phone, online, and everywhere in between. If you're like the majority of the general public, you don't even bother with the incessant questioning. You don't want to give out personal information or you don't want to take the time. You don't want to deal with anything or anyone after you buy the product or use the service...you just want it to work. Believe me, this makes sense.
But let's take a moment to look at it in a new light.....
In a world of constant criticism, have you ever thought, "Ugh, I wish the manager would just...." or "Remember when they used to....."? Maybe it's the opposite and you've thought about how great a business is after its changed hands or how much they please you every time that you go in there. Have you ever taken the time to let someone in charge know these complaints? Do you limit them to just harping to your friends? Have you let someone know how great they're doing?
There are a multitude of reasons why it's important to attempt to review and do surveys....
It lets the corporate offices know what's going on. Especially in large chains, things have a way of slipping through the cracks. Corporate doesn't always know what's going on in its individual franchises and, unless you let them know whether they're doing a good job or not, they can't change things. Believe me, those little surveys let the main offices know what's going on and they do change things accordingly.
If you don't use your voice to give feedback, you shouldn't use it to complain when things don't change. Yeah you...the person who complains about every detail.... have you ever taken the time to let someone know what's going on? If you don't use your voice to give feedback on how things, the company doesn't know what's going on and can't change it.
Great service deserves to be recognized. One of my pet peeves is hearing people say that they shouldn't praise a waiter/waitress because "it's their job." Of course it's their job to give great service but that doesn't mean that they don't deserve praise. Honestly, I believe that encouragement is important to everyone. Jobs in the customer service industry, of any kind, can be a very thankless job. Any review that might give someone a pat on the back for doing a great job is well worth my time.
You can change things. I know it doesn't seem that way. I know it seems like one person, one voice makes no difference. The truth is that you might be the voice that changes the mind of the top guys. You might be the voice that brings new services to a venue. You might be the person who makes them look at things differently.
I literally review EVERYTHING I have a chance to review. I make sure that great service gets some sort of recognition where possible. I make certain that I note names where I can and I give very clear reviews of how things were handled. I believe in the power of surveys and reviewing the services you receive. That pat on the back might mean a bigger bonus for an employee for five minutes of your time.
Tuesday, September 29, 2015
Friday, September 25, 2015
A Round of Applause for Step parents
Step parents can be an amazing blessing in a child's life. I am very fortunate to have an amazing stepmother that I got as an adult. She is supportive and loving. She minds her own business but is also there when I need her. She's got a big heart. I'm very blessed. Recently, have seen some very unhealthy posts made by bitter step parents that want to complain about the biological parent. Here are some of the rules that I think step parents need to abide by (**based on the assumption that the biological parent of the same gender is still involved in the child(ren)'s life.)
Don't force your way in. You can't force a child to accept you and trying to only makes the situation worse. Don't over do it. Ease your way in and let them move at their own pace. Different children (even from the same family) will work at different paces. They have already experienced a lack of control in their lives through divorce and forcing them to have even less control will backfire ultimately.
Don't try to make the rules. It is one thing to sit down as a blended family a couple of years in but understand that you are not going to step into a role immediately to start laying down laws. In my opinion, it is better, as often as possible, to let the child's parent stand up and make rules and/or enforce them at first. The child needs to know that you are not the cause of their woes with having to follow rules.
...but understand that they will blame you anyway. Depending on their age, it is often a likely situation that the kids will blame you for the rules. It doesn't matter what the situation is. Understand that they're going to act out and learn to have tough skin. Accept their feelings and it will make it run more smoothly. Note that I said accept their FEELINGS and not their actions. The parent should be keeping boundaries there to make sure that the rules are still enforced in the house and you're not being completely trampled but the more that kids are allowed to express themselves and know that they're in a safe environment, the better off you'll be.
Get to know them and love them as individuals. This means accept the good with the bad. Maybe that means that you accept a bad temper or a sports nut when you're not into sports. Get to know their interests and get educated on them as much as you can. Encourage them and try to be understanding and patient, as much as possible. Every child is different.
and finally....
If you have kids of your own, DON'T try to draw a divide. Being married to someone means loving all of them INCLUDING their children. There should be no divide between your children and theirs in terms of love. When you choose to love someone unconditionally, you choose to love their children too. It doesn't mean you take over a role; it means you add on another person in their life who loves and accepts them just as they are. You are not rivals on different teams but merging into a new, stronger, better team.
Step parents can be a great addition to families and a great source of trusted people to talk to in a child's life. They don't take over a role, but instead create a new addition to a family that can bless you beyond understanding.
Don't force your way in. You can't force a child to accept you and trying to only makes the situation worse. Don't over do it. Ease your way in and let them move at their own pace. Different children (even from the same family) will work at different paces. They have already experienced a lack of control in their lives through divorce and forcing them to have even less control will backfire ultimately.
Don't try to make the rules. It is one thing to sit down as a blended family a couple of years in but understand that you are not going to step into a role immediately to start laying down laws. In my opinion, it is better, as often as possible, to let the child's parent stand up and make rules and/or enforce them at first. The child needs to know that you are not the cause of their woes with having to follow rules.
...but understand that they will blame you anyway. Depending on their age, it is often a likely situation that the kids will blame you for the rules. It doesn't matter what the situation is. Understand that they're going to act out and learn to have tough skin. Accept their feelings and it will make it run more smoothly. Note that I said accept their FEELINGS and not their actions. The parent should be keeping boundaries there to make sure that the rules are still enforced in the house and you're not being completely trampled but the more that kids are allowed to express themselves and know that they're in a safe environment, the better off you'll be.
Get to know them and love them as individuals. This means accept the good with the bad. Maybe that means that you accept a bad temper or a sports nut when you're not into sports. Get to know their interests and get educated on them as much as you can. Encourage them and try to be understanding and patient, as much as possible. Every child is different.
and finally....
If you have kids of your own, DON'T try to draw a divide. Being married to someone means loving all of them INCLUDING their children. There should be no divide between your children and theirs in terms of love. When you choose to love someone unconditionally, you choose to love their children too. It doesn't mean you take over a role; it means you add on another person in their life who loves and accepts them just as they are. You are not rivals on different teams but merging into a new, stronger, better team.
Step parents can be a great addition to families and a great source of trusted people to talk to in a child's life. They don't take over a role, but instead create a new addition to a family that can bless you beyond understanding.
Thursday, September 24, 2015
Discipline Stinks Sometimes.
I can remember, as a child, having my parents tell me that it hurt them way more than it hurt me. The statement sounded ridiculous at the time but it is absolutely true. As a parent, we often have to make decisions that aren't fun and hurt our hearts because we know our children's hearts hurt. We have to discipline them when they've done something wrong and there are time that our children, especially our teenagers, are just straight-up angry about it. I don't know that anyone really ever outgrows the desire to be liked and when our children are angry or sad about something we did to them, it can cut like a knife. Honestly, it stinks...there is no other word.
Here's the good news.....
By making the hard decision and disciplining them for their actions, you are teaching your child a lesson. Not only are you preparing them for life in the real world but you are also teaching them that there are consequences for their actions. They may dislike you but they don't hate you (regardless of what some children say). They may be angry with you but they will respect you for stepping up. They may be sad about their punishment but they'll understand that they shouldn't repeat it (though it sometimes takes multiple offenses to get it through their heads). Trust that making the hard decision now will pay off in the end and know that you're doing what's best for your child. What they hate you for today, they'll thank you for in about ten or twenty years.
Here's the good news.....
By making the hard decision and disciplining them for their actions, you are teaching your child a lesson. Not only are you preparing them for life in the real world but you are also teaching them that there are consequences for their actions. They may dislike you but they don't hate you (regardless of what some children say). They may be angry with you but they will respect you for stepping up. They may be sad about their punishment but they'll understand that they shouldn't repeat it (though it sometimes takes multiple offenses to get it through their heads). Trust that making the hard decision now will pay off in the end and know that you're doing what's best for your child. What they hate you for today, they'll thank you for in about ten or twenty years.
Wednesday, September 23, 2015
Open Letter to Working Moms / Open Letter to Stay at Home Moms
Dear Working Mom,
You're doing great! You probably wish you didn't have to work or, at least, not so much. You probably wish that you could be at all of those functions at your kids' school or that you didn't miss a first word or step. In this, I mourn with you. I mourn the times that I miss with my kids just as much as you mourn your time lost. Every time you start to feel overwhelmed with sadness over not being there, remember that you're doing this for a cause; you're doing this to give your kids a real life. You're fighting a great battle, Mama!
Cherish every single moment you have with them. Even if you're tired, you're still fighting a great battle. You may not be able to provide quantity, but you're providing them quality time. You may never have time for yourself but you make time for them. You may feel like you're not doing enough but, Mama, you are MORE than enough. Your presence with them is of unmatchable importance and you're making it count! You're doing a great job!
Keep your chin up, Mama, because the days that you think you're only doing so-so, your kids think you're the greatest mom in the world. On the days when you think you slacked because you bought cookies instead of making them, your kids are proud to bring in something to donate to their classroom party. On the days when you're feeling defeated and you just throw a frozen pizza in the oven, your kids are excited that they get pizza for dinner. You are stronger and smarter and more wonderful than you can imagine. You are a great mom. You're doing great things!
Sincerely,
Me
************************
Dear Stay at Home Mom,
You're doing great! You probably wish you could have a break...even if it's just for a couple of hours. You're wishing that you could take a bath or go to the bathroom in peace just one time. In this, I feel your pain. I feel for you every single time that you have a moment of complete frazzled craziness and hit your breaking point. Every time you start to feel overwhelmed with stress, remember that you're doing this for a cause; you're doing this to give your kids a real life. You're fighting a great battle, Mama!
Cherish every moment you have with them. I know you're tired, Mama. I know you never get a break. I know you're juggling a million jobs and you almost never get the recognition that you truly deserve. I know that you're kicking butt and taking names and it feels like there's no reward for it besides the smiles of your kids....and more work. You may feel like you're not doing enough but Mama, you are MORE than enough. Your presence with them is of unmatchable importance and you're making it count! You're doing a great job!
Keep your chin up Mama, because the days that you think you're only doing so-so, your kids think you're the greatest mom in the world. On the days when you're sitting in a house full of unvacuumed carpet, dirty dishes, and piles of laundry and you feel like you've failed, you're looking at kids that have had true time filled with real life learning and bonding that they'd never get anywhere else. On the days when you're feeling exhausted and guilty for putting them in front of a movie just to get something done, they're excited that they get to watch a movie for no reason at all. You are stronger and smarter and more wonderful than you can imagine. You are a great mom. You're doing great things!
Sincerely,
Me
I think that both of these types of mamas need to hear this every now and then :)
You're doing great! You probably wish you didn't have to work or, at least, not so much. You probably wish that you could be at all of those functions at your kids' school or that you didn't miss a first word or step. In this, I mourn with you. I mourn the times that I miss with my kids just as much as you mourn your time lost. Every time you start to feel overwhelmed with sadness over not being there, remember that you're doing this for a cause; you're doing this to give your kids a real life. You're fighting a great battle, Mama!
Cherish every single moment you have with them. Even if you're tired, you're still fighting a great battle. You may not be able to provide quantity, but you're providing them quality time. You may never have time for yourself but you make time for them. You may feel like you're not doing enough but, Mama, you are MORE than enough. Your presence with them is of unmatchable importance and you're making it count! You're doing a great job!
Keep your chin up, Mama, because the days that you think you're only doing so-so, your kids think you're the greatest mom in the world. On the days when you think you slacked because you bought cookies instead of making them, your kids are proud to bring in something to donate to their classroom party. On the days when you're feeling defeated and you just throw a frozen pizza in the oven, your kids are excited that they get pizza for dinner. You are stronger and smarter and more wonderful than you can imagine. You are a great mom. You're doing great things!
Sincerely,
Me
************************
Dear Stay at Home Mom,
You're doing great! You probably wish you could have a break...even if it's just for a couple of hours. You're wishing that you could take a bath or go to the bathroom in peace just one time. In this, I feel your pain. I feel for you every single time that you have a moment of complete frazzled craziness and hit your breaking point. Every time you start to feel overwhelmed with stress, remember that you're doing this for a cause; you're doing this to give your kids a real life. You're fighting a great battle, Mama!
Cherish every moment you have with them. I know you're tired, Mama. I know you never get a break. I know you're juggling a million jobs and you almost never get the recognition that you truly deserve. I know that you're kicking butt and taking names and it feels like there's no reward for it besides the smiles of your kids....and more work. You may feel like you're not doing enough but Mama, you are MORE than enough. Your presence with them is of unmatchable importance and you're making it count! You're doing a great job!
Keep your chin up Mama, because the days that you think you're only doing so-so, your kids think you're the greatest mom in the world. On the days when you're sitting in a house full of unvacuumed carpet, dirty dishes, and piles of laundry and you feel like you've failed, you're looking at kids that have had true time filled with real life learning and bonding that they'd never get anywhere else. On the days when you're feeling exhausted and guilty for putting them in front of a movie just to get something done, they're excited that they get to watch a movie for no reason at all. You are stronger and smarter and more wonderful than you can imagine. You are a great mom. You're doing great things!
Sincerely,
Me
I think that both of these types of mamas need to hear this every now and then :)
Tuesday, September 22, 2015
Sports Talk: NFL Week 2 and stuff
NFL Week 2: Injuries, injuries, injuries. My favorite game of the week (and NOT just because it was my team) was the Denver vs KC game. It had me on the edge of my seat and, admittedly, again our defense won the game for us, for the most part. Most of the games for me were not huge shockers. I was torn on the GB vs SEA game because I was raised in Chicago to HATE the Packers but also loathe the Seahawks. Ironically, more happy to see the Packers win that one anyway. Jets over Colts blew my mind a little but the Colts just couldn't get it together to save their lives. With Romo, Cutler and Brees all out for at least a couple of weeks, the injuries were definitely prominent. Honestly, I wish they'd give someone else a chance in Chicago anyway. My opinion of Jay Cutler is not very high...and that's a nice way of saying it.
Preseason hockey: Preseason hockey is getting underway and it's a beautiful time of year in my house. Seeing as my birthday present this year is a ticket to the Redwings vs Avs game here in Denver (in February), I'm more excited about this year than you can imagine. I can't wait to get things going.
Baseball season is wrapping up: With the two teams I root for (White Sox and Rockies) at the bottom of the barrel, I'm already out for the season but the race to the World Series is always interesting to watch. Honestly, I don't have a favorite.
Preseason hockey: Preseason hockey is getting underway and it's a beautiful time of year in my house. Seeing as my birthday present this year is a ticket to the Redwings vs Avs game here in Denver (in February), I'm more excited about this year than you can imagine. I can't wait to get things going.
Baseball season is wrapping up: With the two teams I root for (White Sox and Rockies) at the bottom of the barrel, I'm already out for the season but the race to the World Series is always interesting to watch. Honestly, I don't have a favorite.
Monday, September 21, 2015
Worry about Yourself!
I can remember being told as a child to "worry about yourself." I continue to use that phrase today with my own children. Of course there are two sides to this coin: you don't want them to be nosy and compare themselves to others BUT you want them to have compassion and empathy. I think that a whole lot of parents underestimate their children's ability to understand concepts so they refuse to use statements like this. In fact, I think that parents underestimate their children's ability to comprehend a whole lot of things but I'll save that for a different post.
This new touchy-feely parenting generation is so convinced that our parents and grandparents messed it up that they don't want to take on so many of the great things that generations before us set into place. We're so convinced that if we hurt our kids feelings, they'll be marred for life. We're convinced that if we correct them, they'll never recover. We're not allowed to spank or swat. We're not supposed to send them to their room and we're supposed to feed them only all-organic, no boxed food. Our generation has got everyone's underwear in such a wad that we aren't really taking the time to really spread our wings as parents.
I've said it a million times before: there are a million ways to be a great parent. All of these studies and doctors are making us think we're damaging them if they sleep a certain way or eat a certain food or don't go to preschool or homeschool or whether or not they drink breastmilk or formula. The list goes on and on. Realistically, though, the "experts" change their minds and their stories every few decades and a whole new generation tells their parents they did it wrong. But I digress...
It seems like everyone, now, is so concerned with making EVERYTHING into a cause. We can't just like or dislike something. We can't just agree or disagree with someone. We HAVE to make it into a cause and preach it from the pulpits. Of course there are certain things that are cause for such a big stir but there are also many that are being blown out of proportion. So this is how I set the guidelines for the "worry about yourself" standard....
If you can turn your head and ignore what they're doing, worry about yourself. Seriously, if it's a difference of opinion, you DON'T have to engage in a debate on everything all of the time.
If you're not being hurt and it's not hurting anyone else, worry about yourself. Not every single action requires you to intervene. If someone does something differently than you, so be it. If they're not hurting anyone or themselves, hush.
If you're just going to be spinning your wheels debating it with an argumentative oaf, worry about yourself. Don't waste your time telling a bully not to bully. Don't waste your time telling someone who hates something about why they should like it.
and
If you're just being nosy, worry about yourself. If you're not asking questions about someone's situation in order to find a way to help them, worry about yourself. Stop nosing into people's business just for the sake of gossip.
On the other hand, here's when to try to help....
When someone is being hurt or trying to hurt themselves
When someone is unable to help themselves (note that I said unable not unwilling)
When someone is in need of real help
We have a nation of nosy nellies that turn their heads when they see someone in true need but want to argue over everything else. Maybe we need to spend a bit more time focusing on raising healthy independent kids than what method someone uses to wash their car or what lipstick they buy.
This new touchy-feely parenting generation is so convinced that our parents and grandparents messed it up that they don't want to take on so many of the great things that generations before us set into place. We're so convinced that if we hurt our kids feelings, they'll be marred for life. We're convinced that if we correct them, they'll never recover. We're not allowed to spank or swat. We're not supposed to send them to their room and we're supposed to feed them only all-organic, no boxed food. Our generation has got everyone's underwear in such a wad that we aren't really taking the time to really spread our wings as parents.
I've said it a million times before: there are a million ways to be a great parent. All of these studies and doctors are making us think we're damaging them if they sleep a certain way or eat a certain food or don't go to preschool or homeschool or whether or not they drink breastmilk or formula. The list goes on and on. Realistically, though, the "experts" change their minds and their stories every few decades and a whole new generation tells their parents they did it wrong. But I digress...
It seems like everyone, now, is so concerned with making EVERYTHING into a cause. We can't just like or dislike something. We can't just agree or disagree with someone. We HAVE to make it into a cause and preach it from the pulpits. Of course there are certain things that are cause for such a big stir but there are also many that are being blown out of proportion. So this is how I set the guidelines for the "worry about yourself" standard....
If you can turn your head and ignore what they're doing, worry about yourself. Seriously, if it's a difference of opinion, you DON'T have to engage in a debate on everything all of the time.
If you're not being hurt and it's not hurting anyone else, worry about yourself. Not every single action requires you to intervene. If someone does something differently than you, so be it. If they're not hurting anyone or themselves, hush.
If you're just going to be spinning your wheels debating it with an argumentative oaf, worry about yourself. Don't waste your time telling a bully not to bully. Don't waste your time telling someone who hates something about why they should like it.
and
If you're just being nosy, worry about yourself. If you're not asking questions about someone's situation in order to find a way to help them, worry about yourself. Stop nosing into people's business just for the sake of gossip.
On the other hand, here's when to try to help....
When someone is being hurt or trying to hurt themselves
When someone is unable to help themselves (note that I said unable not unwilling)
When someone is in need of real help
We have a nation of nosy nellies that turn their heads when they see someone in true need but want to argue over everything else. Maybe we need to spend a bit more time focusing on raising healthy independent kids than what method someone uses to wash their car or what lipstick they buy.
Monday, September 14, 2015
NFL Week 1
Opening weekend of the regular season is my favorite time of year. Fall is (usually) in full swing....jerseys are everywhere....fantasy teams are drafted and the whistle sounds to let the trash talking commence. So let's get into the nitty gritty of some of the games.....
Patriots vs Steelers Thursday night openers are always great games, in my opinion. The build up of fan-ergy is overwhelming and they seldom fail to impress me. Honestly, for me, this was a neck and neck battle. The Steelers looked pretty good overall and I honestly thought they had a chance. Gronk, as always, was a beast and Brady didn't fail to perform (again, not a shock). The biggest news seems to be the head sets malfunctioning. Frankly, here's my take..... We never would have heard about the head sets if the Steelers had won. I think that the Steelers wanted an excuse and wanted to play on the publicity of the Deflategate scandal. Were the headphones malfunctioning? I'm sure. Was that the reason they lost? No.
Texans vs Chiefs Watching this game was painful for the first half, in particular. Texans offense was just not performing at its peak. I'm a pretty huge JJ Watt fan but I didn't have to be a biased sports fan to see that he was a defensive beast! I mean, he had his helmet ripped off essentially by Reid and STILL managed to sack Smith for the 9 yard loss. He achieved his 58th career sack and, frankly, held things together (along with the defense) for the first half (and then some) of the game. I gotta give it to the Texans that they were definitely coming back by the end of the game and didn't get completely annihilated but they just didn't perform as well as the Chiefs did.
Broncos vs Ravens Honestly, there is no other way to say this other than the defense won the game for the Broncos. Was it Manning's best performance? No. Did our defense kick some ass? Ummmm yes. This game was a defensive war with no offensive touchdowns scored the entire game. Everyone is going on and on about it being a sloppy win. Yes, yes it was. But I'll accept that sloppy win and know that our season is just starting and it's about to get awesome.
As for the other games, here are my comments on my favorites....
Rams vs Seahawks Two words: Go Rams! The Seahawks occasionally need to be knocked down a peg and get their egos in check.
Bills vs Colts Um, upset anyone? This one was a shocker to me and a WHOLE lot of Fantasy fans. I had to get a giggle from everyone boasting about Luck and how he was going to be a beast in this game and it was a sure thing. Nothing is EVER a sure thing in the NFL....ever.
Packers vs Bears. This one stung a little. I was raised in Chicago so a Packers win always stings a little bit. With that being said, they definitely fought the battle hard and it was not a blowout as its been in the past.
Cowboys vs Giants Take that haters! I'm not a Cowboys fan but they get ripped on pretty regularly by a select crowd and their comeback last night proved they can't be written off so easily.
Patriots vs Steelers Thursday night openers are always great games, in my opinion. The build up of fan-ergy is overwhelming and they seldom fail to impress me. Honestly, for me, this was a neck and neck battle. The Steelers looked pretty good overall and I honestly thought they had a chance. Gronk, as always, was a beast and Brady didn't fail to perform (again, not a shock). The biggest news seems to be the head sets malfunctioning. Frankly, here's my take..... We never would have heard about the head sets if the Steelers had won. I think that the Steelers wanted an excuse and wanted to play on the publicity of the Deflategate scandal. Were the headphones malfunctioning? I'm sure. Was that the reason they lost? No.
Texans vs Chiefs Watching this game was painful for the first half, in particular. Texans offense was just not performing at its peak. I'm a pretty huge JJ Watt fan but I didn't have to be a biased sports fan to see that he was a defensive beast! I mean, he had his helmet ripped off essentially by Reid and STILL managed to sack Smith for the 9 yard loss. He achieved his 58th career sack and, frankly, held things together (along with the defense) for the first half (and then some) of the game. I gotta give it to the Texans that they were definitely coming back by the end of the game and didn't get completely annihilated but they just didn't perform as well as the Chiefs did.
Broncos vs Ravens Honestly, there is no other way to say this other than the defense won the game for the Broncos. Was it Manning's best performance? No. Did our defense kick some ass? Ummmm yes. This game was a defensive war with no offensive touchdowns scored the entire game. Everyone is going on and on about it being a sloppy win. Yes, yes it was. But I'll accept that sloppy win and know that our season is just starting and it's about to get awesome.
As for the other games, here are my comments on my favorites....
Rams vs Seahawks Two words: Go Rams! The Seahawks occasionally need to be knocked down a peg and get their egos in check.
Bills vs Colts Um, upset anyone? This one was a shocker to me and a WHOLE lot of Fantasy fans. I had to get a giggle from everyone boasting about Luck and how he was going to be a beast in this game and it was a sure thing. Nothing is EVER a sure thing in the NFL....ever.
Packers vs Bears. This one stung a little. I was raised in Chicago so a Packers win always stings a little bit. With that being said, they definitely fought the battle hard and it was not a blowout as its been in the past.
Cowboys vs Giants Take that haters! I'm not a Cowboys fan but they get ripped on pretty regularly by a select crowd and their comeback last night proved they can't be written off so easily.
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