When I was going through my separation and divorce, the number one question I got was whether I'd ever do it again. The answer has evolved over time but, as always, I have a few opinions on the topic. So here goes....
1. Marriage is a very big, very permanent decision. People always seem shocked when they hear me say this because I'm a divorcee. The fact is that I, obviously, didn't plan to get divorced. As the matter of fact, I got married for stupid reasons, the wrong reasons. I got married way too young, without thinking and to someone that I was never in love with. While I don't regret it (because I learned a lot of lessons and got the four most amazing kids on the planet from it), I definitely wouldn't choose to do something like that on a whim again. Despite my divorce, and probably even more so because of it, I believe in the sanctity of marriage and I believe that (in most cases) you can stick it out and should stick it out when you're in love.
2. Marriage is NOT just about a piece of paper. As the matter of fact, marriage is about more than just a piece of paper. Yes, you can be in a committed relationship and not need to get married but there is something to be said about someone not just choosing you for life but committing to showing that to everyone around them. Wearing those rings around, having the "married" status, and being the husband/wife of someone is about declaring the person you've chosen and will never stray from.
3. Marriage is work. This can, really, be said for all relationships. Sometimes they aren't much fun because you're driving each other nuts. Still, the person you marry is there for you in the fun, happy times AND in the stressful, angry times. It's tiring and relentless but it's also one of the most amazing and wonderful blessings you'll ever be a part of, when it's done right.
4. Marriage SHOULD be about making your partner falling in love with you all over again every day. It SHOULD be about making absolutely certain that you are putting your partner's needs before your own. That means compromise (even if it means watching something on TV you hate or doing something when you're too tired). It means finding ways to romance someone who you've romanced a thousand times before. It's a lot work but it's a commitment that is repaid to you every day.
5. Marriage is ONE person for the rest of your life. My biggest pet peeve in committed relationships is when people feel the need to stray. People start taking their partner for granted and seem to forget why they fell for them to begin with. Whether you're gay, straight or bi sexual, your marriage is committing to ONE person. You're allowed to LOOK at other people but no cheating. Cheating is constituted by contacting another person with any sort of advance/flirtation (this includes any kind of communication including but not limited to online, phone calls, text messages, etc), physically touching or allowing someone else to touch you in a way that is inappropriate (hand holding, kissing, butt pinching, or any contact whatsoever with a private part of your body <i.e. breasts, sexual organs, or butts>), and emotional connections in a relationship manner (telling other people that you love them, want to be with them, etc even if you have no intention of actually acting on that.)
So I guess the answer to my most-asked question would be "yes", I'd do it again. I'd do it with the understanding that my soul mate/love would agree with the above-written rules and that they'd WANT to actively act those out.
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