"Well, if you loved your kid enough, you'd be there....."

"Well if you cared enough about your kid,  you'd just take off work..."  I hear this from other parents pretty frequently.  My job happens to be pretty flexible and I can make it to a good deal of my children's school activities and such.  My work at the studio is also relatively fluid, if necessary.  I have incredible bosses who understand the importance of family.  Unfortunately, some people are not as fortunate.

Before you judge a single mom (or dad) and say the aforementioned phrase, I want you to take a few moments to stop and think.  Single parents (and working parents in general) aren't working long hours and/or multiple jobs because they want to escape their children; they're doing it to financially support their children.  Belittling them for not being able to make it to every school activity is wrong on so many levels.  Making it to the Halloween class party has nothing to do with whether or not they love their child.  What you don't know is that they can't make it to the class party because they made sure to schedule to take time to take them trick or treating.  What you don't know is that they can't make it to the holiday party because they took off special time to make it to a special family Hanukkah celebration.  You see, as you judge them for how much they care about their kid, you don't realize that they have to prioritize to make sure that their child gets those special events.  Not all jobs are flexible, folks.  Working parents have to prioritize, sometimes, to balance and they don't need your shaming.  They just don't.

Look, despite what you might think, your children are not going to grow up and think, "You know, I thought my mom loved me but she missed my third grade Halloween party so I must be wrong."  Your children don't define your love based on whether or not you make it to every single school event (especially those during the day).  Yes, it is more important to give your children time than stuff but that doesn't mean that if you miss something that is (brace yourselves room moms because it sounds harsh but I promise I don't mean it in a cruel way) somewhat trivial, it's not the end of the world.  They will be no worse for the wear.

So if you're a working mom and you hear this, what can you do?  My advice is to say, "I hate that I can't be there but I'm so thankful that there are moms that ARE able to make it to make the day special.  Thank you."  Not only are you being the bigger person AND thanking them for their volunteerism but you are also letting them know that the topic is no longer up for discussion.  They see that you are not bothered that you can't be there for the apple bobbing and cupcake decorating because you'll do your own activities outside of the school building.

If you're the mom that is saying this phrase, there is still time to change.  Stop and think.  Are you being productive with your words?  Are you encouraging others?  Don't hide behind a "well I just tell it like it is" attitude.  If you are guilting other parents like this, you're not "telling it like it is," you're being an asshole.  Just know that we, as working parents, appreciate you (even if you don't hear it enough...and often, you probably don't) and that we are just doing our best just like you.  Thank you for being there to make these events special.

We can all be part of the same team and do different things but we need to be helpful to each other and encourage each other in this crazy roller coaster of life.  Be the change you want to see.

For the love of God, Please Stop!

Fridays are normally fun days but today is my "for the love of God, please stop" day.  For the love of God and all things holy, PLEASE stop telling the people who are voting for the other candidate that they are trash.  This is happening on BOTH sides of the political parties right now.  Democrats are guilty.  Republicans are guilty.  All of the sudden, people feel like they have the right to judge someone else's identity based on who they're voting for.  It's like we don't have a free party system and we don't have the right to be different people.

I don't know about you but I don't want a cookie cutter nation!

If you are voting for Trump, fine.  If you're voting for Hillary, fine.  You are not condoning someone's bad behavior for choosing a particular candidate.  You are simply voting for who you think will best represent our country, as a whole.  Please respect other people's opinions and their right to do the same.

In closing, I'll just say this: if you think that ANY of our past presidents were without fault, you are crazy.  I'm sorry but you are.  Everyone one of them has some sort of scandalous behavior, just some bigger than others.  They are HUMAN and being human means they make mistakes.  If you've never done anything wrong, feel free to judge.  Yeah...that's what I thought.

So seriously, please stop attacking each other and focus on how we can work together to build back up the foundation of our country that is crumbling with all of this bickering.  

They're Not Baby Gap Models....They're Kids!

Seriously stop with the judgments already on people who let their kids dress themselves.  In a world of Baby Gap models and celebrities buying outfits that cost hundreds of dollars, new moms seem to be assuming that they all need to dress their tiny tots a certain way.  You don't.

As they get older and have their own opinions, parents still struggle to dress them perfectly.  They put toddlers in uncomfortable boots to go play at the playground just so the other moms will see how cute and coordinated their outfit is.  Meanwhile their toddler is dealing with painful shoes and inflexible boots holding their ankles in awkward positions making it hard to climb and run around. Moms put their little ones in dresses and tutus for gymnastics but forget that it's hard to do most climbing with those things on them.  They are so worried about trying to make sure that the public sees them looking like a tiny catalog model that they forget that their child isn't a doll...it's a human being that has a comfort level.

Ironically, the shame seems to be getting placed on moms that let their kids wear sweats. (Though people still feel like they need to purchase Under Armour or Nike sweats as if someone will judge them if their child's sweatpants come from Target). Why?  Because the kids aren't dressed to the nines.  Well, guess what....they're comfortable.  They're happy.  They can move freely.  They aren't stumbling around in uncomfortable shoes just to look like a model.  They're able to get dirty. It's a good thing.

Shame is also placed on moms that are letting their kids dress themselves.  If they're mismatched in pattern, they're gawked at.  If they're walking around in rain boots and a dress, they're gawked at.  If they're wearing a scarf and hat with their swimsuit, they're gawked at.  Why?  No really...why?  They're happy.  They're confident.  They're safe and they're being allowed to express themselves in a a safe environment.  Let them be little.  Let them develop their own personality.  Let them use their voice (so to speak).  Stop judging these children and stop judging their parents for allowing them to be who they are instead of some play-dough cut out of what you think they should be.