"Well if you cared enough about your kid, you'd just take off work..." I hear this from other parents pretty frequently. My job happens to be pretty flexible and I can make it to a good deal of my children's school activities and such. My work at the studio is also relatively fluid, if necessary. I have incredible bosses who understand the importance of family. Unfortunately, some people are not as fortunate.
Before you judge a single mom (or dad) and say the aforementioned phrase, I want you to take a few moments to stop and think. Single parents (and working parents in general) aren't working long hours and/or multiple jobs because they want to escape their children; they're doing it to financially support their children. Belittling them for not being able to make it to every school activity is wrong on so many levels. Making it to the Halloween class party has nothing to do with whether or not they love their child. What you don't know is that they can't make it to the class party because they made sure to schedule to take time to take them trick or treating. What you don't know is that they can't make it to the holiday party because they took off special time to make it to a special family Hanukkah celebration. You see, as you judge them for how much they care about their kid, you don't realize that they have to prioritize to make sure that their child gets those special events. Not all jobs are flexible, folks. Working parents have to prioritize, sometimes, to balance and they don't need your shaming. They just don't.
Look, despite what you might think, your children are not going to grow up and think, "You know, I thought my mom loved me but she missed my third grade Halloween party so I must be wrong." Your children don't define your love based on whether or not you make it to every single school event (especially those during the day). Yes, it is more important to give your children time than stuff but that doesn't mean that if you miss something that is (brace yourselves room moms because it sounds harsh but I promise I don't mean it in a cruel way) somewhat trivial, it's not the end of the world. They will be no worse for the wear.
So if you're a working mom and you hear this, what can you do? My advice is to say, "I hate that I can't be there but I'm so thankful that there are moms that ARE able to make it to make the day special. Thank you." Not only are you being the bigger person AND thanking them for their volunteerism but you are also letting them know that the topic is no longer up for discussion. They see that you are not bothered that you can't be there for the apple bobbing and cupcake decorating because you'll do your own activities outside of the school building.
If you're the mom that is saying this phrase, there is still time to change. Stop and think. Are you being productive with your words? Are you encouraging others? Don't hide behind a "well I just tell it like it is" attitude. If you are guilting other parents like this, you're not "telling it like it is," you're being an asshole. Just know that we, as working parents, appreciate you (even if you don't hear it enough...and often, you probably don't) and that we are just doing our best just like you. Thank you for being there to make these events special.
We can all be part of the same team and do different things but we need to be helpful to each other and encourage each other in this crazy roller coaster of life. Be the change you want to see.
Showing posts with label #Parentvolunteers. Show all posts
Showing posts with label #Parentvolunteers. Show all posts
Saturday, October 29, 2016
Tuesday, September 1, 2015
The 5 Moms at the PTSA Meetings
In honor of the PTSA meetings starting up, I wanted to make a fun post. Let me preface by saying this is strictly from my own experiences so please don't turn this into a fussy post where you take it all personally. Without further ado.....
The Organizer: You know this mom. She may be the President or she may just be a super mom that has the ability to plan and execute every activity all year long (the person that SHOULD be the President of the PTSA). She's going to be loud and proud and not let her opinion go unheard. She's going to be on top of things all of the time. Her kids are probably dressed to the nines every day at school and she never misses a meeting. She'll hear you out every time because she just wants the parents to get involved. Generally these moms are friendly and light hearted but very strong willed (you have to be for some of these tasks) and a born leader.
The Bitter Wanna Be Organizer This is the mom that is still ticked off that she didn't win the votes to be the President of the PTSA....or maybe she didn't put her hat in the running but is bitter AT the President of the PTSA because "she could do a better job." Ironically this mom will only pick and choose her tasks but she will kick butt at every task she does, regardless of how exhausted she gets. She can be found sitting at the back of the meeting mumbling to another bitter parent or her spouse about how she should be the one leading the meetings. (Side note: If this mom DOES get to be President and sees how hard it is, it's humbling for her and her attitude can sometimes change for the positive).
The Super Involved Stay at Home Mom This mom might not directly want to be involved in the staff of the PTSA but she definitely wants to help. She's at every even helping and volunteering. She is often the mom that uses Pinterest as her secret weapon and can create anything with a little whimsy. She will often drive to and from meetings or help out the moms that can't make it to the meetings or events due to work.
The Barely Makes it or Comes Late Working Mom Guilty as charged. These moms work on schedules that either have them coming in late or leaving early so they can still make it to their job. They want to be involved but can't always be at the events that occur during the day. In fact, they need crazy amounts of planning in order to be able to make it there period. Their intentions are good but their ability to be in two places at once is very evident.
and finally....
The Spectator These are the parents that come to vote and that's about as far as their involvement goes. It's not a bad thing. They may join in once or twice if they get a special call from the PTSA staffers but they generally are just coming to the meetings to know what's going on in their kids' lives.
and an added bonus..... the Absentee Ballot: These are the parents that pay the fee, join the PTSA and then never do another thing the whole year. Still important for paying the fees and contributing, these parents are absolutely never at any meetings or events the whole year. It's not that they don't care about their kids, they just don't care about the PTSA and they CERTAINLY do not want to volunteer.
Again, this post is designed to be fun so have a little giggle at where you see yourself in here. Get involved where you can when you can and support your PTSA!
THE FIVE MOMS YOU FIND AT THE PTSA MEETINGS....
The Organizer: You know this mom. She may be the President or she may just be a super mom that has the ability to plan and execute every activity all year long (the person that SHOULD be the President of the PTSA). She's going to be loud and proud and not let her opinion go unheard. She's going to be on top of things all of the time. Her kids are probably dressed to the nines every day at school and she never misses a meeting. She'll hear you out every time because she just wants the parents to get involved. Generally these moms are friendly and light hearted but very strong willed (you have to be for some of these tasks) and a born leader.
The Bitter Wanna Be Organizer This is the mom that is still ticked off that she didn't win the votes to be the President of the PTSA....or maybe she didn't put her hat in the running but is bitter AT the President of the PTSA because "she could do a better job." Ironically this mom will only pick and choose her tasks but she will kick butt at every task she does, regardless of how exhausted she gets. She can be found sitting at the back of the meeting mumbling to another bitter parent or her spouse about how she should be the one leading the meetings. (Side note: If this mom DOES get to be President and sees how hard it is, it's humbling for her and her attitude can sometimes change for the positive).
The Super Involved Stay at Home Mom This mom might not directly want to be involved in the staff of the PTSA but she definitely wants to help. She's at every even helping and volunteering. She is often the mom that uses Pinterest as her secret weapon and can create anything with a little whimsy. She will often drive to and from meetings or help out the moms that can't make it to the meetings or events due to work.
The Barely Makes it or Comes Late Working Mom Guilty as charged. These moms work on schedules that either have them coming in late or leaving early so they can still make it to their job. They want to be involved but can't always be at the events that occur during the day. In fact, they need crazy amounts of planning in order to be able to make it there period. Their intentions are good but their ability to be in two places at once is very evident.
and finally....
The Spectator These are the parents that come to vote and that's about as far as their involvement goes. It's not a bad thing. They may join in once or twice if they get a special call from the PTSA staffers but they generally are just coming to the meetings to know what's going on in their kids' lives.
and an added bonus..... the Absentee Ballot: These are the parents that pay the fee, join the PTSA and then never do another thing the whole year. Still important for paying the fees and contributing, these parents are absolutely never at any meetings or events the whole year. It's not that they don't care about their kids, they just don't care about the PTSA and they CERTAINLY do not want to volunteer.
Again, this post is designed to be fun so have a little giggle at where you see yourself in here. Get involved where you can when you can and support your PTSA!
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