On a Girls Night, we headed out to see "Thunder From Down Under" in Denver. I can honestly say that the show was a pretty fun night but there are a few things you should know....
1. Sorry, girls...it's a male revue but they do NOT get naked. You definitely see some tight buns but no hot dogs.
2. You're allowed to touch but the women are savages. These women will stampede to touch the men when they come down the aisles. Seriously, it's crazy.
3. Some of them are better dancers than others. As a trained dancer, I was a bit picky and persnickety about the dancing but, all things considered, they were pretty good. Some were better than others.
4. They smell incredible. If you are lucky enough to get a touch in, they aren't sweaty and gross. They smell incredible.
5. They will stay after to take pictures with you.
6. You will stand in line FOREVER to get a picture.
7. If you have a chance at your theater, try to get an aisle seat on the middle. They ignored the outside aisles, for the most part.
8. They are completely different guys than the Vegas guys.
9. It's a good time. Seriously, even for the people that aren't big on it, it's fun.
10. They definitely live up to their names. Check it off the bucket list, girls.
Side note: Though the Paramount was a nice place and the staff was pretty nice, I lost my credit card there and was told LESS than 24 hours later that if they did find it, they would be canceling and destroying it. I didn't even get a chance to see if they found it within a full 24 hours. Not a fan of such a policy (though I'm sure there's a reason for it).
Saturday, May 14, 2016
Friday, May 13, 2016
Things My Kids Argue About
Everyone is always complaining about their kids arguing. Now I'm blessed enough that mine argue less than some siblings, for sure. That said, as they enter their teenage years it's more prevalent than it used to be. For those that don't have children, read up; because this is the types of things that kids argue about and what you can expect from your future children (should you choose to have them). For those that have kids, you will totally get this.....
Things my kids argue about (true story).....
Who farted
Who touched the remote last / who lost the remote
Who left the light on
Who needs to get up to turn the aforementioned light off
Who cleaned the most of their room
Whose spot is whose on the sofa
Where they want to eat for dinner
What color the sky is....no seriously, they fight over this
Whether all buttholes are the same size
Whether or not sheep feel pain when they get sheared
Whether or not pigs would eat bacon (since they're known for eating almost anything)
Who gets dressed the fastest
Whether it's geeks or nerds rule the world
Whether arm pit hair stinks more than butt hair
If someone's sweat can smell worse than someone else's
Whether or not there will ever be boob fat or butt fat transplants to give people with flat chests or butts the option to get part of someone else's
Whether or not Pluto is a planet (though this is a valid argument for me)
If aliens exist
If Bigfoot exists
If the Loch ness monster exists
Whether or not Freddy Krueger can get into people's heads that don't dream at night
If Rocky Road ice cream is SOOOOOOO gross
If you can die of a broken heart
If you can die from a broken butt
If a broken butt is possible
This list could go on all day but it definitely makes me laugh when I think about some of their arguments. Kids are funny creatures and siblings make it even more fun.
Happy Friday.
Things my kids argue about (true story).....
Who farted
Who touched the remote last / who lost the remote
Who left the light on
Who needs to get up to turn the aforementioned light off
Who cleaned the most of their room
Whose spot is whose on the sofa
Where they want to eat for dinner
What color the sky is....no seriously, they fight over this
Whether all buttholes are the same size
Whether or not sheep feel pain when they get sheared
Whether or not pigs would eat bacon (since they're known for eating almost anything)
Who gets dressed the fastest
Whether it's geeks or nerds rule the world
Whether arm pit hair stinks more than butt hair
If someone's sweat can smell worse than someone else's
Whether or not there will ever be boob fat or butt fat transplants to give people with flat chests or butts the option to get part of someone else's
Whether or not Pluto is a planet (though this is a valid argument for me)
If aliens exist
If Bigfoot exists
If the Loch ness monster exists
Whether or not Freddy Krueger can get into people's heads that don't dream at night
If Rocky Road ice cream is SOOOOOOO gross
If you can die of a broken heart
If you can die from a broken butt
If a broken butt is possible
This list could go on all day but it definitely makes me laugh when I think about some of their arguments. Kids are funny creatures and siblings make it even more fun.
Happy Friday.
Thursday, May 12, 2016
Work Before Play For Kids
I preface this post by saying that I definitely encourage my kids to get into sports and activities that require physical exertion. I think that fresh air and running around are absolutely essential to keeping them healthy and happy. I'm definitely not ripping on sports or physical activities in ANY way.
My 10 year old won third place in the Science Fair. She didn't just win third place in her age group or for her grade but overall. It's a pretty great accomplishment. I'm really proud of her. I think what makes me most proud of the whole thing is that this wasn't something that was required of her for a grade; it's an optional competition that she chose to participate in. It's something SHE thought would stretch her imagination and help her learn something new.
That brings me to the purpose of this post....
I'm a big advocate of education over activity. Let me explain: I'm an advocate of always putting your education before your sports "career." Why? Well, you never know...and that's why. The likelihood of an injury in a constantly-training athlete is pretty high. It might be something minor and it might be something career-ending. In the blink of an eye, you can lose that ability to have a sports scholarship. However, no one can take your imagination away from you. No one can take away all that studying and what you've learned.
I allow my kids to do physical activities but our rule is that school ALWAYS comes first. That means that if you have to miss a practice to work on a project, you miss that practice. Yes, teamwork and dedication are important but it is far more important to me to teach them priorities. Work before play. I see people pushing their kids from age 2 or 3 to be soccer stars or baseball stars. I see them pushing their little football players, dancers or gymnasts to go-go-go from such a young age. I see injuries happening in 10 year olds that should realistically not be occurring until adulthood because they train so hard so young. Pediatricians have even commented on how it affects their bodies to drill them so young. Physical activities are fantastic but the risks are sometimes quite high for major physical problems later on resulting from their go-go-go attitudes at that young age.
I'm very proud of my kids desiring to work their butts off on their school work. Do they always feel like doing homework? Hell no! Do they always do 100% on every single project? Probably not. Do I push them to always do their best? YES! It's not about an "A" or a "B" for me...it's about encouraging them to do the best they can at their JOB, which, at this age, is school. I encourage them to not just look at what the homework entails but to learn about what happened around that history lesson, to explore more about that biology topic, to do great things with what they've learned and take it to the next level. My feeling is that this love of learning will help them to advance in whatever they want to do. It doesn't have to be college; it might be trade school or an internship or a million other ways to learn. Whatever career they want, that work-first attitude will help them. That desire to make sure that they're stretching their minds will go further.
Look, I'm not ripping on anyone for their choices. Everyone does what's best for their kids. My feeling, though, is that the big picture is more important. Down the road, when my kids are parents or grandparents, that love of learning will still be intact. That education they gained during all of these years of studying will still be there. They will have opportunities that they wouldn't otherwise have had. They won't suffer "bad knees" from learning. They won't suffer a "bad back" from learning. They won't suffer arthritis from learning. That love of learning will live on and help them to inspire the next generation to love learning too. I'll always encourage the physical activity that helps my kids to be happy and healthy but I will never push them so hard that they're stretched too thin for their school life.
My 10 year old won third place in the Science Fair. She didn't just win third place in her age group or for her grade but overall. It's a pretty great accomplishment. I'm really proud of her. I think what makes me most proud of the whole thing is that this wasn't something that was required of her for a grade; it's an optional competition that she chose to participate in. It's something SHE thought would stretch her imagination and help her learn something new.
That brings me to the purpose of this post....
I'm a big advocate of education over activity. Let me explain: I'm an advocate of always putting your education before your sports "career." Why? Well, you never know...and that's why. The likelihood of an injury in a constantly-training athlete is pretty high. It might be something minor and it might be something career-ending. In the blink of an eye, you can lose that ability to have a sports scholarship. However, no one can take your imagination away from you. No one can take away all that studying and what you've learned.
I allow my kids to do physical activities but our rule is that school ALWAYS comes first. That means that if you have to miss a practice to work on a project, you miss that practice. Yes, teamwork and dedication are important but it is far more important to me to teach them priorities. Work before play. I see people pushing their kids from age 2 or 3 to be soccer stars or baseball stars. I see them pushing their little football players, dancers or gymnasts to go-go-go from such a young age. I see injuries happening in 10 year olds that should realistically not be occurring until adulthood because they train so hard so young. Pediatricians have even commented on how it affects their bodies to drill them so young. Physical activities are fantastic but the risks are sometimes quite high for major physical problems later on resulting from their go-go-go attitudes at that young age.
I'm very proud of my kids desiring to work their butts off on their school work. Do they always feel like doing homework? Hell no! Do they always do 100% on every single project? Probably not. Do I push them to always do their best? YES! It's not about an "A" or a "B" for me...it's about encouraging them to do the best they can at their JOB, which, at this age, is school. I encourage them to not just look at what the homework entails but to learn about what happened around that history lesson, to explore more about that biology topic, to do great things with what they've learned and take it to the next level. My feeling is that this love of learning will help them to advance in whatever they want to do. It doesn't have to be college; it might be trade school or an internship or a million other ways to learn. Whatever career they want, that work-first attitude will help them. That desire to make sure that they're stretching their minds will go further.
Look, I'm not ripping on anyone for their choices. Everyone does what's best for their kids. My feeling, though, is that the big picture is more important. Down the road, when my kids are parents or grandparents, that love of learning will still be intact. That education they gained during all of these years of studying will still be there. They will have opportunities that they wouldn't otherwise have had. They won't suffer "bad knees" from learning. They won't suffer a "bad back" from learning. They won't suffer arthritis from learning. That love of learning will live on and help them to inspire the next generation to love learning too. I'll always encourage the physical activity that helps my kids to be happy and healthy but I will never push them so hard that they're stretched too thin for their school life.
Wednesday, May 11, 2016
The "Science" of Kids that Argue Less
I have a whole lot of people ask me about how my kids behave toward each other. In short, our getting along to argument ratio is about 75-25 now that they're teenagers. How? How do I get them to get along? The answer is that I don't. There are some general "Heather rules" about siblings....
Number of Kids:
If you have two kids, you're going to likely have two completely opposite children. If one is more calm, the other will be more outgoing. If one is stubborn and willful, you'll likely end up with one that is more easy-going.
If you have three kids, expect that your third one will be the one that throws you for a loop. That could be really good or really bad. Either it's gonna be an angel after two devious ones or a devious ones after two angels.
If you have four kids, all bets are off.
Respecting birth order:
Learn to channel their positive characteristics from their birth order. First children are often bossy, particularly girls. Channel it into something positive. Youngest children are often incredibly creative, channel it.
How close together you have them:
Now this is a catch-22. Having them super close together is intense sometimes but my kids get along so much better because of it. On the other hand, a whole lot of families that have kids spaced about 3.5-5 years apart end up with kids that fight constantly. It seems strange because you think that waiting until they're "old enough to accept a sibling" makes it easier...in this case, experience tells me that it doesn't work that way. On the other hand, larger gaps such as 10+ years can often work to your advantage.
Mutual Respect Rule:
If you teach them from a young age to have mutual respect for each other, it seems to reflect well on them. Period.
There are no guarantees in life but rest assured, there is probably some unresearched science on the best timing to have your kids spaced out.
Number of Kids:
If you have two kids, you're going to likely have two completely opposite children. If one is more calm, the other will be more outgoing. If one is stubborn and willful, you'll likely end up with one that is more easy-going.
If you have three kids, expect that your third one will be the one that throws you for a loop. That could be really good or really bad. Either it's gonna be an angel after two devious ones or a devious ones after two angels.
If you have four kids, all bets are off.
Respecting birth order:
Learn to channel their positive characteristics from their birth order. First children are often bossy, particularly girls. Channel it into something positive. Youngest children are often incredibly creative, channel it.
How close together you have them:
Now this is a catch-22. Having them super close together is intense sometimes but my kids get along so much better because of it. On the other hand, a whole lot of families that have kids spaced about 3.5-5 years apart end up with kids that fight constantly. It seems strange because you think that waiting until they're "old enough to accept a sibling" makes it easier...in this case, experience tells me that it doesn't work that way. On the other hand, larger gaps such as 10+ years can often work to your advantage.
Mutual Respect Rule:
If you teach them from a young age to have mutual respect for each other, it seems to reflect well on them. Period.
There are no guarantees in life but rest assured, there is probably some unresearched science on the best timing to have your kids spaced out.
Tuesday, May 10, 2016
SIDS Caused by Swaddling?
There is a new study out that says that swaddling a baby puts them at a higher risk for SIDS. I will give the article the benefit of saying that it says you're at a higher risk if you swaddle them and put them on their side or stomach (though I'm not sure who thinks swaddling a babies arms to their sides and then putting them on their stomach is a good idea). I have 2 issues with this....
1- Parents have been swaddling since the beginning of time. Like LITERALLY since the beginning of time. The idea that swaddling increases the risk of SIDS seems absurd to me. Perhaps if an infant is swaddled incorrectly and the blankets are too close to their face, it would make sense. Perhaps if you're dumb enough to swaddle them and then lay them on a sofa sideways. Now here's the thing....those two things put a baby at a higher risk of SIDS anyway (blankets in/near their face or being laid too close to any furniture where they are breathing back in their own CO2). Pediatricians recommend swaddling, hospital nurseries swaddle, we swaddle because it helps a baby to sleep and calm down. It helps them to feel safe.
2- Stop with the "studies" already. Holy crap! Parents have enough to get anxious about. Can we stop giving them more paranoia? It's one thing to do a study on something that has been researched for decades. It's another thing to do your study and assume that something that has been a tried and true proven method to relax a baby for centuries is now something that causes death. There is always going to be a study that can "prove" your argument. One scientist says it's bad and another says it's good. One says not to do something and another says to do it three times weekly. It's absolutely ridiculous. Stop giving parents, especially new parents, more reasons to worry. They have enough on their plate.
Perhaps my frustration is aimed at how much we overwhelm parents now. We pile so many expectations on them. Kids are expected to talk earlier, walk earlier, learn to read earlier. We expect for these parents to be able to maintain their sense of self but still raise these little phenoms. We get mad when kids don't know how to read before kindergarten but realistically, maybe they're just not ready. We worry when a baby isn't walking by a year old but we forget that for centuries, babies walked when they were ready and, guess what....we got Olympic athletes, incredible body builders and people that were perfectly physically apt without worrying about if they were crawling, walking or riding a bike on some cookie cutter time line. Can we, please, stop creating even more to worry about for the new parent...or even the experienced one?
I'm always an advocate for making sure you educate yourself and make your own decision. However, what I will say is to just think it through and don't get yourself too worried. One of the best pieces of advice you'll ever hear is to listen to your heart; you already know how to be a parent.
1- Parents have been swaddling since the beginning of time. Like LITERALLY since the beginning of time. The idea that swaddling increases the risk of SIDS seems absurd to me. Perhaps if an infant is swaddled incorrectly and the blankets are too close to their face, it would make sense. Perhaps if you're dumb enough to swaddle them and then lay them on a sofa sideways. Now here's the thing....those two things put a baby at a higher risk of SIDS anyway (blankets in/near their face or being laid too close to any furniture where they are breathing back in their own CO2). Pediatricians recommend swaddling, hospital nurseries swaddle, we swaddle because it helps a baby to sleep and calm down. It helps them to feel safe.
2- Stop with the "studies" already. Holy crap! Parents have enough to get anxious about. Can we stop giving them more paranoia? It's one thing to do a study on something that has been researched for decades. It's another thing to do your study and assume that something that has been a tried and true proven method to relax a baby for centuries is now something that causes death. There is always going to be a study that can "prove" your argument. One scientist says it's bad and another says it's good. One says not to do something and another says to do it three times weekly. It's absolutely ridiculous. Stop giving parents, especially new parents, more reasons to worry. They have enough on their plate.
Perhaps my frustration is aimed at how much we overwhelm parents now. We pile so many expectations on them. Kids are expected to talk earlier, walk earlier, learn to read earlier. We expect for these parents to be able to maintain their sense of self but still raise these little phenoms. We get mad when kids don't know how to read before kindergarten but realistically, maybe they're just not ready. We worry when a baby isn't walking by a year old but we forget that for centuries, babies walked when they were ready and, guess what....we got Olympic athletes, incredible body builders and people that were perfectly physically apt without worrying about if they were crawling, walking or riding a bike on some cookie cutter time line. Can we, please, stop creating even more to worry about for the new parent...or even the experienced one?
I'm always an advocate for making sure you educate yourself and make your own decision. However, what I will say is to just think it through and don't get yourself too worried. One of the best pieces of advice you'll ever hear is to listen to your heart; you already know how to be a parent.
Monday, May 9, 2016
What It's Like to Have a Teenage Boy
I talk a lot about what it's like to have a teenage daughter but teenage sons have challenges of their own. Let me paint you a picture of what it's like to have a testosterone driven teenage son.....
Imagine, if you will, a puppy. The puppy is energetic and always wants to wrestle. He is sweet and adorable but he's still a puppy. His attention span is virtually nil. He can't seem to remember basic commands anymore when presented with a toy. He is territorial and barks at anyone who comes near his "bed." He pees on the floor.
Now imagine that the puppy is a kid....
Boys are interesting creatures and have their own quirks. While moodiness isn't quite as severe or noticeable in most boys (as it is in girls), they seem to set the "common sense" part of their brain down when puberty hits. I'll let you know when I find out at what point they pick it back up. Their intelligence is still intact and somewhere beneath the selective hearing and the territorial moodiness (that all teenagers have), it is hiding . I'm convinced that it's peeking out from underneath the testosterone boost in their brain laughing at the confused parents.
If you're lucky, your son's biggest "obsession" will be video games or sports (like my son). If you're not, you end up with one obsessed with porn or sexting. Scary stuff.
Add on the fact that with the "mean girl" lifestyle being so prevalent, girls feel like they should control and manipulate boys. Now your son, who is already lacking common sense, is being bossed around and manipulated by a girl that swears she wants to date him. It's frightening, frankly.
So for every parent that says, "Well just be glad that you have boys," you can let them know that there are challenges on that end too. God's funny sense of humor doesn't stop at parents of little ladies.
Sunday, May 8, 2016
This is What Parenting Really Is
There are certain things in life that I believe make you truly realize that you're a parent. I'm not referring to the obvious ... birthing a child obviously makes you a parent. I'm talking about the moments that make you say, "Yup, this is what parenting really is...."
1. When the baby pees on you...if you're lucky, it's not in your face
2. When the baby poops through his clothes....in public
3. When your toddler repeats the swear word you accidentally said in front of her....in front of your mother in law
4. When your little man runs naked through the house after his bath
5. When your little man runs naked through the house after his snack
6. When your little man runs naked through the house after waking up
7. When your little man runs naked through the house before bed (noticing a pattern?)
8. When your little lady throws a flailing tantrum in the grocery store over not getting the Cookie Crisp cereal
9. When the PTA President gives you "that look" for bringing store bought cupcakes to the bake sale.
10. When the Principal has to call you to tell you that your son gave his friend an atomic wedgie
11. When your pre-teen rolls her eyes at you for the first time
12. When your pre teen rolls her eyes at you for the thirty seventh time
13. When your teenager rolls her eyes and sighs loudly every....time.....you......talk
14. When your kids just won't stop arguing....and you're there listening.
15. When after all of these things you still feel that insane love for your kids and realize that there is nothing they can ever do to change that...
1. When the baby pees on you...if you're lucky, it's not in your face
2. When the baby poops through his clothes....in public
3. When your toddler repeats the swear word you accidentally said in front of her....in front of your mother in law
4. When your little man runs naked through the house after his bath
5. When your little man runs naked through the house after his snack
6. When your little man runs naked through the house after waking up
7. When your little man runs naked through the house before bed (noticing a pattern?)
8. When your little lady throws a flailing tantrum in the grocery store over not getting the Cookie Crisp cereal
9. When the PTA President gives you "that look" for bringing store bought cupcakes to the bake sale.
10. When the Principal has to call you to tell you that your son gave his friend an atomic wedgie
11. When your pre-teen rolls her eyes at you for the first time
12. When your pre teen rolls her eyes at you for the thirty seventh time
13. When your teenager rolls her eyes and sighs loudly every....time.....you......talk
14. When your kids just won't stop arguing....and you're there listening.
15. When after all of these things you still feel that insane love for your kids and realize that there is nothing they can ever do to change that...
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