Less of a Mom? *eyeroll*

I heard it said yesterday that a mom who had a planned c-section didn't really have to experience childbirth.  I was floored for a number of reasons, not the least of which is that, by its very definition, of COURSE that mother has experienced childbirth.  She gave birth to a child.  Seriously, why is this mother being criticized?  She still has to recover.  She still has a newborn.  I cannot see a valid argument for the other side of this debate.

Let me be very clear: I've never had a c-section.  As the matter of fact, I had four 10+ hour labors with no epidural.  Three of those times, I had epidural for nearly the entire labor because my water had broken but there was no dilation happening regardless of my efforts.  Some of my nearest and dearest experienced c-sections, some of them planned.  Some experienced planned inductions.  Some had short, simple labors.  Some had very long, complicated labors.  Some chose epidurals.  Some gave birth at home.  Some gave birth in a birthing tub or a pool of warm water.  There are so many different birth scenarios that can take place.

What it comes down to is this: all of them have different recovery times.  All of them have different recovery "side effects".  All of them have their criticisms from the other side.  I hear all of the time that I was crazy to "go through it naturally"from one side while another criticizes the fact that the doctors made me use pitocin.  I've had my home birth friends criticized for it being too unsafe.  The point is that every birth method is going to have a naysayer telling you why it's not the best way to do it.  Not one of those naysayers can take away your labor experience and not one of them has the right to criticize your choices (or, in some cases, the cards you were dealt).

Allow me to give you some alternatives to criticizing a new mom's birth method choice (or lack thereof).....

What a gorgeous baby!

You two make beautiful babies!

He/she is so cute!

Look at all that hair!

Look at those beautiful eyes!

Great job, mama!

or if you really want to say something productive.....

Can I bring you a meal for your family?

What size diapers would be good to bring you?

Are you in need of anything that I can help with?

Would you like me to watch the new baby so you can take a nap?

How about you go and rest while I clean up the house for you?

Any of these are going to be much more helpful to any new mom.  Seriously, people, use your brain and just a hair of tact (I'm not suggesting everyone should be PC, just tactful) and remember that birth method is of little overall importance to the fact that a mom is still a mom.