"Like I Did...."

"Like I Did...." It's a phrase that every parent uses at least once or twice.  "I want them to do (fill in the blank here with activity) like I did."  I completely understand it.  When you're pregnant with your little one, you have this picture in your head.  Maybe you pictured a delicate little girly girl who played with dolls and hated having her hands dirty.  Maybe you pictured a rough and tumble boy who loved baseball and camping.  Maybe you pictured a "tomboy" girl that loved to play sports with you and run around at the park.  Here's the reality: You don't always get what you picture.  In fact, you rarely do.  Children are extraordinarily individual from birth and the girly girl you pictured might well be a little bully of a "tomboy" that will shove anyone out of the way for that doll.  Your rough and tumble boy might prefer arts and crafts to sandboxes and sports.  

It's certainly not some sort of a problem if you don't get what you pictured.  It's a matter of how you handle it.  You may have wanted a sports nut but you got a dancer instead.  That's okay.  Encourage his/her dancing abilities and you may see a passion and talent that you never dreamed of come out in your child.  You may have pictured an artistic superstar and, instead, your little one wants to be a linebacker.  That's okay.  Encourage their sports talents and you may see something beautiful.  Whether they want to be an athlete, artist, musician, scout, cup stacker or whatever their passion may be, there's always an outlet and always a way to encourage them to be passionate about whatever it is that they're interested in.

"But I can build it in them."  This may be true.  If you were a baseball star and you want your child to play baseball, you can start them extremely young and hope that it sticks.  Here's the problem: if it wasn't meant to be, it won't be.  You can push it for as much and as long as you want and they might never develop that passion for the sport.  They will end up feeling resentful that they were forced into doing something.  It's a dangerous gamble to force your kids to try to love what you loved as a child just to get them to do what you did.  

"Well I'm just gonna make them do it for awhile."  Okay, fine.  I'm all for teaching kids to try a variety of things to see what they love.  That said, you walk a fine line forcing things.  Pick your battles.  If your two year old HATES dresses, don't force them into it.  Don't bribe them to wear a dress every day in exchange for TV time, sweets, etc  Believe me, it's not worth the battle down the line.  If your son wants to wear track pants every day, let him do it.  Pick your battles.  Save the slacks for important events.  Try not to bribe them, period.  It hardly ever pays off in the end.

I guess my point in all of this is that your children are individuals.  They need to be encouraged to love what THEY love.  If it's what you loved as well, that's awesome.  If not, set aside your little vision and encourage them in what they enjoy. I promise you it will pay off in spades!