Some parents spend their time, as their kids grow, thinking of what they'll do when they have grandchildren. Me? I think about what I'm going to do when they get a place of their own. I'm compiling a list of the things I intend to do when they get their own apartment or house. Here are just a few of the items.....
1. I'm going to come in the door and leave it open. That's right, I'm leaving the door WIDE open. I might even go in and out 10 or 12 times and make sure it slams shut behind me for good measure.
2. I'm going to go into the kitchen, stand in front of the refrigerator with the door open and just stare for at least 5 minutes.
3. After starting at the refrigerator, I'll proceed to open and half-slam all of the cabinets except a few that I'll leave wide open. I will, then, declare that there is no food in the house!
4. I will find the Doritos (let's face it, they're my kids so there's gonna be Doritos in the house) and I will eat the entire bag.....in the living room to make sure that there are crumbs left all over.
5. I will then find the ice cream (again, my kids so there will be ice cream) and eat all but one spoonful and then leave the carton's lid slightly askew just to make sure that tiny bit of ice cream left gets freezer burned.
6. I will proceed to go into every room of the house and turn on lights.
7. Shortly after that, I will go into the bathroom, take a shower and step out of the shower drenching wet to make sure that it gets all over the floor.
8. When I visit my boys, I will also make sure to pee all over their toilet seat. Apparently this is a sign of love for males. (hahaha)
9. I will taking a flying leap onto the furniture.
10. Last, but not least, I will take off my socks and make sure to put them anywhere I see fit. Likely, I'll choose a different spot each time: the folds of the sofa, the corner behind the chair, wherever
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