The "Nevers" are generally parents of very young children, particularly infants. These parents are the ones that look at your child judgmentally and say, "Well my child will NEVER...." Fill in the blank here. Let's be honest; almost everyone THINKS that before they have kids. My child will never throw a tantrum because I'll reason with them (bahahahahaha, try reasoning with a toddler that wanted the blue sparkly cup instead of the Easter egg cup. I promise you, I will be a captive audience.) My child will never ignore their homework (again, bahahahahaha, good luck with that.) My child will always help around the house because they love to clean (ummmm suuuuuuure they will; cue the teenage years). The difference between the average person and the "nevers" is simple: "Nevers" feel the need to loudly and proudly tell you what their child will NEVER do. "Well my little Apricot will NEVER roll their eyes at me." Well, how nice, Astrid. I had no idea you'd be sewing her eyes shut at 11 years old because that is the ONLY way they'll never do it.
The "Always" are similar but not exactly the same. You see, the "Always" are the group that feel the need to put on a big display for you on why their child is absolutely perfect. Their child ALWAYS finishes their vegetables and they ALWAYS speak kindly. "Always" parents are often those of young children or infants, as well. However, they haven't gotten a real taste of the yummy goodness that is the school aged or (eeeek) teenage years. The "Always" look at you like you have a third eye when you comment on how you can't WAIT for your kids to return to school from spring break because they're at each others' throats. The "Always" love to tell you how you're crazy for wanting to have a night out from your kiddos because "she just can't get enough of hers." Their tone is generally condescending and you almost always feel like you just lost a wet t-shirt contest after talking to them: cold, wet and standing there with people gawking at you.
I know it's terrible. I do. I know it's awful to smile knowingly, ready for them to get the godsmack they deserve....and we all know that they will. Their little Apricot will turn into a toddler that won't eat anything but chicken nuggets who loudly screams and demands "Paw Patrol" episodes on repeat while perfect mommy is reaching for that last shred of sanity. Then she'll grow into the bossy brat child that gets reprimanded at school shortly before she becomes the teenager who thinks that "nothing is fair." It's not necessarily a parenting thing on some of these....it's a kid thing. Kids are kids. They're going to be obnoxious sometimes and they're going to make you want to pull your hair out at others. Either way it goes, that yummy satisfaction of watching the other parent who judged you so incessantly will come.
Now here's the caveat.....it never lasts.
For those of us that have been in the trenches of these parenting phases, that moment of satisfaction doesn't last long because we know the struggle. We smirk for a second and then we open our arms, give them a hug and tell them that "this too shall pass." We don't do it because they deserve it. We do it because we're all in this together. We do it because it's not even worth it to revel in someone else's misfortune. We do it because we want the "Nevers" and the "Always" to be there for someone else down the road when they get knocked off their pedestal. So pull up a chair, smirk at the judgmental youngsters and then know that they, too, will join you in the trenches someday. It may not come with an apology for being judgmental but their exhausted demeanor will be all you need to know they're part of the club.
No comments:
Post a Comment