Thursday, March 17, 2016

My Suggestions for new Hallmark Holidays

I was looking at my social media pages today and saw that people were getting their kids "leprechaun gifts."  In short, they were candy and other gifts that were supposedly from a leprechaun to celebrate St Patrick's day.  A little over a month ago, people were buying Valentine's gifts for their kids too.  My, kids, on the other hand, got the day old 75% clearance Valentine's day from Dollar Tree.  Nothing says "Happy Hallmark Holiday" like 25 cent heart shaped boxes of cheap chocolate.

It seems like there are gifts for everything now.  You have promposals for something that used to be a simple private question.  You have gender reveal parties for something that used to be a pleasant phone call to announce whether you were in need of "pink or blue."  You have push presents for going through labor.  You have elaborate second honeymoons for first anniversaries.  Presents and money a-go-go.  Nothing can be simple anymore.  It must all be fancy or it's unacceptable.  Birthday parties can't just have a birthday banner and cake; they must be held at expensive locations and include $20/pop goody bags to take home.

I wonder, sometimes, where enough will be enough.  It seems like all that it's causing is the need to step up things that used to be special (proposals, baby showers, etc) and put yourself into debt to create some fairy tale event.  Me? I'd be happy with a ring in the middle of my Mellow Mushroom Pizza with a cold beer on the side.  But I digress.....

With all of this said, since we can create reasons to give or get presents, I'd like to suggest a few of my own....

You made it through your colicky baby day This is a day to give the gift of time to the parents that dealt with the colicky baby, making certain to hold and bounce them for hours as they cried.  After all, relaxed parents (such as parents that have had a night out) are happy parents and happy parents help to create happy kids.

You just got peed on by your son for the first time! Let's face it...it happens to almost all of us (though pee pee teepees are helping nowadays).  How about treating the lucky parent to a package of wet wipes.

Your house is finally healthy after all 6 of you had the runs at once If this isn't a reason to celebrate, I don't know what is.

Your teenage daughter just got her period.  Get the daughter what she needs and then treat the parent to some xanax and a set of benadryl blow darts for future menstrual endeavors.

Your kids have all graduated high school and moved out  Hip hip hooray!  Instead of empty nest being a sad thing, let's celebrate that you created healthy, productive kids that finished their schooling and are getting out on their own.

I'm sure there are a million more things to consider for great gift-giving days but these will create a running start.  Set aside the cliche clover-shaped chocolates and celebrate something worth making a big deal over.

(I would like to add, as an end piece, that if you ARE Irish, I get celebrating this day...it's your heritage.  I'm all for that.)

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