Saturday, May 7, 2016

To the Step Moms on Mother's Day

Dear Stepmom,

I've had a couple of you in my life and have had both ends of the spectrum experience-wise.  The fact is, though, that I think more of you (and I mean a serious majority) are truly doing the best you can.  Blended families are definitely a very difficult experience but you're fighting to do things right.  You are kicking ass!

You're often judged and it's not fair.  You're not trying to replace the kids' biological mom.  The truth is that they're not mad at you, most of the time...they're sad that their happy ending wasn't so happy.  The truth is that they don't hate you...they just aren't sure how to process things and they're scared of how their kids will do.  If you're honest with yourself, you can see it from their perspective too (and vice versa).  You are probably just as in love with your new stepchildren as you are with their dad.  You, just like both of their biological parents, just want the best for them.

Kids have a habit of punishing you, too.  They don't mean to. Hang in there.  They'll come around.

Mostly, though, you might be judging yourself.  Don't.  You're doing a fantastic job.  Keep being there for them.  Keep encouraging them.  Keep up all of your hard work because you're an important part of their life.  Even if they have a few moments now, they'll get it down the road.  You are awesome.  Please know that.

If you are underappreciated this Mother's Day, please know that there are some of us that have incredible stepmothers that are cheering you on.  There are some of us that know exactly how much of a void you can fill in your stepchildren's lives.  There are some of us that are so proud of you and so thankful for you being there for the kids that need it most.  You're amazing.

Keep plugging away step-mama, you're doing fantastic!

Sincerely,
Me

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