I keep seeing posts about it being awards season and the fact that everyone should get an award. I have really mixed feelings about this. Allow me to explain......
I, first, want to address the parents of kids that have challenges. I'm not just referring to "diagnosed" challenges. I'm referring to any kind of challenges from having a hard time learning to ride a bike to just being painfully shy. Kids can be ruthless. I understand how hard it is for some of these kids to watch their classmates get awards for being the best at this or the best at that. Meanwhile they sit by and feel like they have this greatness inside them but there are hurdles to them being able to let it out. My son went through years of doing wonderful in school but having a whole lot of sad days over kids treating him like garbage for having challenges. In those years, I wished there would have been an award for effort. I wished there would have been an award for every day he tried so hard to make a friend. I wished there would have been an award for how hard he worked to learn to ride his bike or tie his shoes. I was so sad for him.
Now that he's overcome so many obstacles, I'm thankful...and so is he. We talked about this yesterday when his "moving up" ceremony happened (moving to junior high) and he said that he was thankful for those challenges because they made him who he is. Every time he didn't get an award, it made him work harder. He didn't feel bad about himself because he had a great support system of family, teachers and staff letting him know that he was wonderful and to keep plugging away. He knew he was an amazing kid and that, eventually, if he kept working hard, he would have his chance to shine. This year has been a year to shine for him. He had honor roll the whole year. He got awards for being a great kid. He was bragged on and told how wonderful he was on the daily by a great teacher. For all the challenging years, he had an amazing year this year that made up for everything and let him shine.
We've discussed that not every year will be like this. We've discussed that starting junior high might mean all new challenges. We've discussed how other people might get some awards again. The important thing is that he "gets" it. He understands that working toward a goal will eventually result in an "award." Some of the "awards" might be a certificate or a scholarship. Some of them might just be a teacher who makes a huge deal about how great you are. He understands that he is not defined by a piece of paper or by a scholarship; he is defined by who he is as a person.
So, while I appreciate the struggle, I stand firm to the fact that we shouldn't give awards to everyone. Our job is to teach our kids about the real world and the real world doesn't give out awards to everyone. You don't get a gold medal simply for participating in the Olympics. There will always be a time when someone is better than you at something. There will, also, be times to teach others who aren't at your level....and that is just as important. We need to teach our kids to define themselves by something more than paper. It's not about impressing other kids or impressing a bunch of parents at an assembly...it's about impressing YOURSELF and doing the best that you can do. Eventually, their efforts will be recognized.
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