To the grandparents out there, I'd like to say a word on behalf of your children. More than that, I'd like to say a word on behalf of many of your children's spouses. I want to preface by saying that I mean absolutely no disrespect at all in this. It's only intended to give some food for thought. My grandparents are pretty much my favorite people on the planet outside of my home so they sort of inspired me to write this by being...well by being wonderful.
First of all, let me say this much: you're awesome. Congratulations. You successfully made it through raising your kids and, chances are, they turned out pretty awesome too. I know from watching every single grandparent I've ever encountered, for the most part, that your grandchildren are the jewels on your crown. They are the apple of your eye. They are your greatest gifts and blessings and there is a love that exists between grandparents and grand children that is hard for outsiders to understand.
Here's the thing: I know that you had this dream of how your relationship with your grandchildren would look but there are some considerations here. Think back to when you had your first child. Think about how you wanted to make everything your own and create your own traditions. Now extend that to your own children. They, too, want to create their own lives and traditions with their children. Maybe it'll be the same as yours. Maybe it'll be the complete opposite. Chances are it'll fall somewhere in between. Now here's the other issue in this consideration: their spouse. While you may have always done Christmas morning a certain way, maybe her family did Christmas morning completely different and maybe she loved it. While you may want to repeat your special traditions with your grandchild, it may need to look a little different in order to preserve all parties involved.
Please, please, please don't criticize your daughter in law (or son in law if that's the case) on their parenting unless they are directly hurting your child or your grandchild. Yes, they may do things completely differently but it's their child and their way. More than that, don't over step their bounds on the important things. If they are exclusively breastfeeding, please don't give that baby formula or (god forbid) cereal when they aren't around.
Most importantly, though, stop trying to fit your grandchild into a box. Maybe your dream was to take your grand daughter to the American Girl doll, select the perfect doll, and take her back frequently for visits but if your grand daughter doesn't care for dolls, why push that on her? Maybe your dream was to have your grand child once a week for a grandma day but if your grandchildren have other things going on in their schedule and it can't happen every week, why destroy relationships just to have your way? You see, all the dreams you may have are YOUR dreams but you forget that your grandchildren are going to have very unique personalities, wants and needs. Do things that they enjoy too instead of pressing them into your little box.
Now parents, here's the last little niblet for you. Understand that grandparents are mostly well intentioned and they just love every bit of that new grand baby. Try to lean a little on things when you can and understand that they have dreams of big things with this new grand baby too. They love them as much as you do and there can be great memories made if everyone works together.
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