Congrats....It's a Boy

So you're the proud parent of a new baby boy.  Congratulations.  You're in for the ride of your life.  It's likely to be the most rough and tumble, silly, smelly, but absolutely fun time of your life...and you'll probably love every single minute.  I want to preface this article with a disclaimer: of course this does not apply to every single boy.  I don't make myself out to be some sort of expert (though I'm not sure that some of the experts are really experts either in any way but "on paper") and this blog is for entertainment purposes only.  So here goes....

Pee Pee  Prepare yourself....no seriously prepare yourself.  It's starts early.  Baby boys are infamous for peeing in your face when you're changing their diaper.  Baby stores now sell products like Pee Pee Tee-Pees that "protect" you.  However you prepare yourself, be ready.  It begins at birth.  As they get older, they use that little fire hose to spray everywhere.  Unless you teach your son to pee sitting down, prepare yourself.  It's probably going to end up on the toilet seat at least once...and that's if you're lucky. More likely, you'll be cleaning urine off the seat, lid, wall, floor and anywhere else you can imagine...and some places you never would think.  Prepare yourself to use the phrase, "How in the world did he get pee there?"

Farting  Flatulence, fart, gas, toot, pookie, the list of names goes on and on.  Let me make this simple: boys think this is hilarious.  It starts young and it never goes away.   Prepare yourself for the wafting scent of poo as you open a door and say, "Good Lord!"  It's bad...and they think it's hilarious.  One fart can send them into hysterical laughter for days...and it doesn't even have to be their own.

Messy Handwriting.  I actually have one son that blows this handwriting thing out of the water.  The other one is a "typical boy" with it.  Boys have a hard time writing neatly.  Their large motor skills often develop earlier than their small motor skills so it may take years for them to develop better handwriting, assuming they desire to do so. 

High Energy Most little boys are high energy 24/7.  They seem to be alert even when they're sleeping, at time.  They can run for hours and, my recommendation is that you start young letting them run off their energy instead of putting them in front of an electronic to keep them still.  Let them develop those muscles.  Let them use what God gave them.

No Fear.  Most little boys seem to have no fear whatsoever.  Seriously.  They'll jump off of anything on to anything.  Stitches start early and x rays become the norm.  You want to wrap them in bubble wrap just to prevent them from getting another bump, bruise, or boo boo. 

These are just my personal top five "be ready" statements for a boy.  Boys also bring with them a myriad of great qualities.  They are bright, imaginative, funny, and they give incredible hugs.  Whatever you son shows characteristics of, you're in for the ride of your life.  Hold on tight and have a blast.  They're only little for so long.